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Clean But Tired Feet 9 Apr 2012 6:21 AM (13 years ago)

It was a long but exciting Holy Week for my church. We shared the service with three other churches. Each church hosted a service and led a different one. This made for some pretty interesting experiences.

First was the Tenebrae service. I’d never been to one of those even though I’m a “cradle Episcopalian.” As services go it was very meditative and spiritual. There was lots of praying in silence. This service was supposed to “set the stage” for the rest of Holy week which I think it did fairly nicely. Enough so that I chose to ask my priest if we could hold one again next year.

Then came Maundy Thursday. We had our traditional lamb stew cooked at a different church’s kitchen and then went in for the service. If you’re not familiar with Holy Week services this one includes the washing of feet. I’ve only participated in that part once before and for that one everyone’s feet were washed by the priest. This time we took turns. You got in line and when your turn came your feet were washed by someone you may or may not have known. Then you took the spot in front of the chair and washed the next person’s feet. It turned out to be quite an eye opening experience. Let me tell you that after holding someone’s naked feet in your hands you can never think of them as strangers again. Not even acquaintances. A part of me is wondering if I should get the woman' whose feet I washed some red nail polish as a gift for Christmas.

On Friday we held 2 services, one in public and one at a nice church with a familiar feel as I’d been there once  before. The public service was Stations of the Cross and was held at the Riverwalk here in San Antonio. Each station had a work of art or a performance held at it which had been inspired by the events we were honoring. They were all good and my favorite was the performance by a fellow church member of Mary receiving her son’s body. It was very moving and we were all in tears at some point during it.

That evening’s service was also nice and in a church that had something you may not see as much as you used to. It had real stained glass windows. The sun setting through them gave the whole place an intense glow and very special feel.

The Saturday evening service was The Great Vigil which was held at my church. This was a very music filled service with members from the other three churches joining us in the performance. Our choir director had an extra high energy level with that large a choir to direct. The sound was magnificent and many of the other choirs members had wonderful music skills and great voices. There were five priests participating in this service and it was kind of funny watching them rehearse and figure out who would do what. At one point we knew that they were all going to be back in the hallway behind the sanctuary throwing off their black robes to put on white ones and make it back tg celebrate Christ’s resurrection. We all giggled over that mental image.

Then came Sunday morning and everything was back to normal. We were at our usual church with the usual faces plus a few we seldom saw. I was delighted to see a familiar face from the early service in attendance at the late one because he had been taking care of his wife for a long time. She’s still with us but not so much mentally. My prayers are with him.

News about my own mother is that she is on Hospice care and will probably not be with us much longer. My father has told us that we need to make visits soon so that we can see her before she is either too unconscious to visit or has moved on. I’m sure that this knowledge had a large effect on my reactions to Holy Week. It’s filled with love and I needed that this year.

It is my sincere hope that you had a good Easter and spent time with your family. God Bless!

Holiday Plans and Such 24 Nov 2010 5:07 AM (14 years ago)

White wing dove for dinner and the family gathered around my grandmother’s table. Mom busy in the kitchen. My sister and me checking in frequently to see what Mom and Grandmom had finished making and helping set the table. Stealing black olives from the tray of nibbles that sat on the table every year. That was a common theme for Thanksgiving when I was a kid. My uncle would be there and later his wife and kid too. It was a fun time. Even more so than the trip I and my sis would make with Grandmom and Granddad to the white wing hunting grounds in September so that Granddaddy could fill his game bag. Sis and I were the bird retrievers. Then we’d go back home to sit outside around a huge galvanized wash tub to pluck the feathers from Granddad’s catch.

Those days are gone and I’m solo so my Thanksgiving meal is often with friends and sometimes alone. This year I’ve been invited by friends Charlie and Nancy to join them and their daughter for a somewhat different type of Thanksgiving meal. We are having duck. The only time I've can remember eating duck was a Chinese dish which I think was Moo Goo Guy Pan. After reading the description on the menu I’d ordered it because I’d never had duck before. Visions of films showing how ducks were raised by folk who lived on ships and were sent into the water to eat and catch fish and then called back onboard with the ducks walking up a plank to the deck come to mind.

Being a good guest by my mother’s standards means that I bring something to the table or go over early to help with the preparation. I’ve offered to do both and will head to the store today to see if I can find some tiny “C” sized red potatoes to sauté. If the results are the same as the last dinner party I served them at there will be no leftovers.

John Knox Village where my parents live has been decorated for the past week and everyone is looking forward to the fantastic meal that will be served in the dining hall. Dad will be turning 88 on Thanksgiving so I’ll call later to talk, wish him, “Happy Birthday,” and chat with Mom. She’s been doing some better lately. There have been days where she was pretty alert and involved in all the activities that go on in the care center. Those are offset by days where she isn’t alert and involved, but even those are showing some improvement. Best of all is that I’m no longer getting one word answers from her when we talk on the phone. My sister continues to Skype with Mom regularly and that’s a real blessing since she won’t be able to come to TX for a while. I hope to go down sometime in December, but haven’t set a date yet as I’ve got church obligations and the guest rooms will be full on Christmas weekend. It may be New Years weekend like last year. The college I’m attending online decided to give us all a break for the last couple of weeks of the year so that may be my best time to go.

I’m looking forward to reading all about everyone else’s Thanksgiving meals and plans and have already started with San’s So till next time…

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Update by Request 6 Nov 2010 4:36 AM (14 years ago)

Our beloved David, came by and asked about Mom. When I first got back I needed to space myself from what I’d experienced. Now I’m doing better, so this is what the news on Mom is.

Mom is working past her second stroke. She’s in a wonderful place called John Knox Village (JKV) where she and Dad have lived for quite a few years. The care center at JKV is really good and I couldn’t ask for better, more attentive nurses than they have (One of them caught the stroke while it was happening! Great nurse!). Dad sees Mom everyday and keeps us updated on how she is doing.

While she was in the hospital a cardiologist examined Mom and recommended a pacemaker because her heart was slow and irregular. That was done and hopefully Mom will continue to improve.

Post stroke, she has been kind of non communicative and wants to sleep a lot. Her doctor tells us that is normal and that she will come out of it over the next couple of months. Dad’s latest letter seemed to indicate that she is becoming more aware of her surroundings and seems to be interacting with others again.

While visiting, my meals were delivered to the care center, so I was able to join Mom for every meal. It was good being with her. I plan/hope to go back in December to see her again. We celebrated her birthday the Saturday I was there by gathering, giving her gifts, and using one of them (My sis sent a net book.) to Skype with my sister and her husband in FL. Mom really smiled seeing Jill and Bud.

Part of me says this post is done and part keeps saying, “You need to address both sides of the experience.” It hurts to think that Mom won’t be with me forever. Trying to come to terms with the idea is a changing experience. I keep reminding myself that Mom is a believer and will join Grandmom and Granddad in heaven. Local friends as well as distance ones have been very supportive and I’m so grateful for their love and understanding. While this is not something I’d want anyone else to go through I guess it’s unavoidable that some of my friends have and they are SO empathic with me that it makes me want to be like them. “God, help me grow through this and become more like Mom and my wonderful, caring friends.”

Peace! & Hope!

Call Me Inspired 15 Oct 2010 9:47 AM (14 years ago)

There is great news in blogland today. David McMahon of Authorblog is back! This was so exciting that it made me want to blog something too. That’s something I’ve not done in quite a while. I’m sorry that I was away for so long and I’ve no idea if I’ll be able to keep up steady and regular posts, but since I’ll be following David’s blog with near religious regularity I’ll surely be more inspired to write something too.

My last post talked about my mother’s stroke. She has spent quite a while in the nursing home wing of John Knox Village, the retirement community where she and Dad live. Right now she’s in the hospital, having had another stoke last Sunday. This one has affected her left side. We are taking things day by day. This is scary! It doesn’t matter how adult you are or together your life is, the thought of losing your mother is enough to bring you to tears. Attending the healing service at church this past Wednesday helped. So did telling my friends and church. Lots of praying is going on. I’m blessed to have Sandi as a friend. She and I had a chat about how to handle this and it really helped.

On the work side of life, I finished the 2010 Census job back in September. It was a lovely experience and one I’ll always remember with fondness. It seems to have given me a desire to work on mission oriented jobs, so when a friend of mine told me about a training program to create a workforce to convert the nations medical records from a pen and paper system into a modern database I jumped at the chance to help out. I’ve been accepted into the training program and will take 6 months of online classes. Onsite Tech Support is the job I’m aiming for since that’s where my work experience and education fit best. I’ve also kept my relationship with Pearson Education and will be scoring for them from time to time.

Mom’s birthday is the 23rd of October and if I don’t need to hurry down there before then I’ll be going to the Rio Grande Valley to see her and celebrate that day with her. She’ll be 87. It was going to be a festive gathering of her family, but my sister found reason to go down this past week so I may be the only daughter in attendance that weekend. That’s okay. I’ll spend lots of nice uninterrupted, unhurried quality time with Mom. We’ll visit with her friends, play games with Dad and others, and just chat. I couldn’t ask for a better way to spend a weekend!

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

A Rough 6 Weeks 22 Jun 2010 4:11 AM (14 years ago)

On May 14th Mom had a stroke. It happened during the night and she woke confused, disoriented, and weak. Dad took her to the emergency room where they ran a bunch of tests. The result showed that she’d lost some cognitive functions and a bit of peripheral vision. They moved her to the full care section of the retirement community my folks live in. My sister and I’ve been down to see her and will go again sometime next month.

It’s somewhat reassuring that Mom & Dad live in a really good place where the care is excellent. She’s getting at least 3 different types of therapy (cognitive, occupational, and physical) to try to get her eligible for assisted living. It’s going to be a few weeks before we know if she will be able to do it, but she is making progress. Last report was that she is stronger now and her memory functions are improving. There’s a list of things she has to be able to do before she can qualify for assisted living and Mom’s ticking them off as she accomplishes them.

One of the hardest things for me is the feeling of disconnect I’m experiencing. For several years now I’ve started my morning by working a jigsaw puzzle and emailing it to Mom with a short note about how things are going in my life. Now that’s stopped because there’s no computer in her room at the care center. I call but they have to go get her from where she is to bring her to the phone. If she makes it to assisted living there will be a phone in her room instead of at the nurse’s station.

On the life in San Antonio side, I’m finding work more stressful these days. It isn’t as much fun and since the Census is heading into the last stages everyone is polishing up their resumes. I recently went to a sneak peek movie screening and saw Despicable Me which comes out in July. It’s a really good kids flick with a heart warming ending. It’s funny too. My face just kept smiling bigger and bigger all through the movie. I’ve been dong some minor repair things around the apartment. My vacuum cleaner has a new belt and the bathroom has a new showerhead. The stray kitten living on my porch had gotten pregnant but the baby didn’t survive. However, that little girl is letting me pet her now and sometimes seems to want petting more than the food. I’m not sure she’ll let me pick her up yet. And, in honor of my friend Susan, with a nod to Jeremy who took me to the yarn store, I’ve started learning how to knit. I bought some yarn, needles, and an instruction book and cast on 50 stitches which was way too many for the length of my bamboo needles. Never the less, progress is being made. I’ve pretty much gotten the hang of the knit stitch and am now practicing the purl stitch. Jenny and I took a lesson at the yarn store this past Saturday and I learned how to hold the yarn in my left hand which is much faster, but I need to practice more because I don’t think my stitches are as even with that method. If I get good enough to actually knit a real item of clothing I’ll be delighted and probably never give this up.

Hope you all have a good 4th of July! Peace! Hope! & Joy!

In the Quiet Places 9 Mar 2010 4:25 AM (15 years ago)

Added in a couple of items to the Tiny Lifestyle Changes today. One I’ve been doing for a while and it is working well for me. The other is a suggestion made by my associate rector, Matt, and it’s the kind of thing that would work for me if I did it regularly so I’m going to make the attempt to do that too.
The one that I’m already doing is from my pastoral counselor. He suggested that to handle stress and anxiety, since it was keeping me awake at night, I should turn over to God the things that were bothering me most. He suggested a journal, but I’m just doing it in prayer. I’ve been negligent of my prayer life, so this is a good way to get back in the habit of talking to God. When I was a new believer I used to fall asleep reading his word. I sort of miss that comfort and I hope this tiny step will lead me back to that, or at least to more consideration in the quiet of the evening when I’m lying there trying to shut down my day.
Last Sunday Matt gave a really good sermon that included 2 midrash. That may not be spelled correctly and it’s not the plural form. He told us during the sermon but I didn’t get that bit down. One of the midrash talked about the space between the lines of text in the Torah being the place where the true meaning was to be found. Then he talked about the name of God as it is in Hebrew YHVH, which is never spoken, and what the sound might be if we did try to pronounce it. Without the vowels that Christians have added in it sounds sort of like breathy sounds that one hears. The PH sound, the H sound, maybe some of the S, those where you are exhaling strongly. I kind of laughed when he first did that and tried to say it without the vowels. It sounded like a bit from Harry Potter. Then as his lesson continued I came to think, the breath sound might represent the breath of life that God gives us or that energy which was sent forth from God when he made the world. If that’s what we find in the quiet spaces maybe it’s a good idea that I go back and reread my priests’ sermons so that I can reflect on their teachings and gain what is between the lines of text. And that’s the second item I added into Tiny Lifestyle Changes.
Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Reflection – Did I see the light? 20 Feb 2010 6:35 AM (15 years ago)

If you’ve read my blog a lot in the past you know I like to think back on things and see what effect they’ve had on my life. This is a skill I learned late in life. It was something I had to do for some college classes and believe I’m much the better for having gained it. The process was called reflection.

Reflection has given me lots of awareness on how things affect others too. When I was a child I didn’t spend time analyzing other people’s actions or emotions until it affected me and then it was usually a frenzy of trying to look at why they did or said whatever it was that had hurt me so badly. That’s not socially helpful, but it let me express my angst till I’d owned it and come to a better understanding of the situation. Thankfully I’ve grown some since those anxious teenage years. These days I try to understand the other person’s needs or behaviors based on what I know of them and not how I feel. It helps a bunch because I’ve come to love harmony in my life, a gift from Mom, and hopefully that longing for peace and harmony makes me more of a peacemaker than an irritant to any situation I run into.

This morning I was reading an article from WebMD that talked about a study researching the effects of darkness on people’s behavior. It said that when the room is darkened, not lightless but dim light, or people wore sunglasses they might behave in a less ethical manner. I found that very interesting and suddenly I was imagining what I might say to a child who wanted to wear sunglasses all the time because he, “thought it made him look cool” because another kid he knew wore them and he thought that kid was cool. I guess our teachers were right; you shouldn’t wear sunglasses all the time. Since the eyes are windows to our heart and mind, if someone feels you can’t see what he’s thinking or feeling he feels anonymous and can thus act in ways that might not be right but won’t be attributed to him because of that self perceived anonymity.

I think I can understand how a kid might want to be anonymous if he’s constantly being corrected for things he does. We probably all experience times like that as adults too. But knowing this means it’s important to look people in the eyes to really know them, that it can’t be done by just hearing their words without knowing the emotions behind them, or maybe the experiences that have generated their response to a situation. That’s not always easy to know even when you do look someone in the eye, but it gives you the opportunity to ask them for more so that they can express themselves and feel heard. I think that’s called active listening today and we all know how much we want to be heard when we are struggling.

I want to go back to that darkness article and think up some more ways that it can affect us so I guess I’ll find a friend I can discuss that with, or maybe my counselor since he’s good at role play too. If you read the article on darkness and come up with any insights I hope you’ll share them.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Man, I’m really happy today! 11 Feb 2010 4:29 AM (15 years ago)

It’s true! I’m almost giddy I’m so happy. This isn’t because of anything that’s happened. No major event triggered this. I think it’s the result of some small changes I made in my routine recently that have just triggered a good feeling within my spirit.

The changes I made were very small. I’ve been dealing with depression ever since my marriage broke up in ‘99. I have a good counselor and maybe a very smart psychiatrist who prescribes my medication. So for the past 3 days I’ve been on a very small dose of Bupropion. Just 100 mg a day, extended release. This dose is small enough to not cause that edgy feeling that this drug is known for but it helps lift my spirits. I think it is taking effect. But I don’t think that alone has triggered this surfeit of happiness.

The next change I made was last night’s routine. It was cold in the apartment so I took out time in the middle of the evening to draw and take a warm bath. I washed my hair and when I was through I put on comfy clothes and went to bed at my usual time, hair still wet but combed. When I woke up this morning I had more time in my routine to do stuff I wanted to do instead of feeling the need to get ready for work. My hair was dry and fluffy, call that wash and sleep. LOL More time gives you a relaxed feeling about your day so that’s going to become a more regular change I think. Bath at night and ready faster in the morning. Plus I think I slept better for that. Good sleep gives me a much better mood.

Then I elected to dress comfortably for work. I work in a business casual environment and some of my coworkers wear suits. I would have loved jeans today but it’s not jeans day so I pulled out an old pair of loose fitting pants that still looked good and topped them with one of those thin flannel shirts that gives you lots of room to move. Added a belt and I”m ready for for anything and can move comfortably without care to whether I’m sitting like a proper lady and feeling cuddled in that flannel. I think that finished the mood lift.

So clean, rested, comfortable, and ready to face the day. I attribute some of this to the Happiness Project. And I’m going to continue to read that blog because I keep finding good suggestions in it that lift my mood. Hope your day goes as good as I anticipate mine will.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Two Cat Nights 2 Feb 2010 3:29 AM (15 years ago)

Even though they’d been sniffing noses through the screen door and seemed interested in being friends, when I adopted Hooboo, rescuing him from his “stray porch kitty” status, he and Hyram developed an instant competition. They fought, Hyram stole Hooboo’s food, Hooboo would steal the wrap around my ankles time, and they’d rarely share a bed together. Hyram actually kept watch for Hooboo’s arrival and left when he entered the room. That is until recently. I don’t know what changed but for the past two nights I’ve had both cats on the bed. Sunday night it was one on either side of me. Last night they were actually sharing the comforter and less than a foot apart. Dare I hope that I’ve now got a cat family?

In other news I’m fighting a cold and it’s taking its usual course. Following a nurse friend’s advice I was trying to “let it run through me” and avoiding decongestants until the need for sleep precluded that and I gave in. Prayers for health are appreciated.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Firefox & Blogger or Being Careful with Add-ons 30 Jan 2010 9:31 AM (15 years ago)

Recently I updated to the latest (greatest?) version of Firefox, that being version 3.6. It immediately disabled IE Tab and one or two other extensions a.k.a. add-ons. Oops! I’d been using IE Tab to see my blog because I thought there had been a problem with Firefox and Blogger. I’d been losing the right hand column of my blog in Firefox and IE Tab was my current workaround.

Then last night I opened and read Sandi’s blog and heard her playlist which she has on the right side (same as I do) and wondered why I could hear her blog and not mine. So I started researching. The first thing I did was email Terry to see if he had any advice. He took a look, with 4 different browsers no less, and had no problems with my blog so he suggested I clear the cache. That’s Blogger’s usual advice too so I tried it but it didn’t help. Then I got a clever idea. Why not try disabling add-ons to see if any of them were the problem.

Wow, what I discovered would make almost 2 posts. First off I had way too many Java Consoles installed. Apparently when you update Java it doesn’t overwrite the old console but just adds a new one on. I’m down to just the latest Java Console and the Java Quick Start add-on. That works fine so no problem there.

Then I disabled everything else and restarted the browser. My blog showed fully and the playlist I’d been missing played beautifully. So I started enabling add-ons one at a time and found the culprit. It was Ad Block Plus. That’s a sweet add-on and I’m going to miss it because I hate ads being stuck willy nilly all over the pages I’m viewing and this baby took care of that. But lately it seems to be messing with Java and Flash content so I guess I’m better off without.

Then I googled “Firefox add-ons that cause problems with blogger” and got this fantastic page by Mozilla. It lists the extensions that cause problems, what they mess up, and gives a workaround. How helpful of them to put that up. It was even dated as recent as December 10, 2009 so it’s very current. Yes, Adblock and Adblock Plus were on the list. It also told me why my browser sometimes gave a message of Firefox is still running when I’d shut it down and then tried to restart it. That little snafu was thanks to Cooliris which is another neat add-on but I can do without too. So that’s gone now too.

Now my add-on list is much pared down and I’m happy with the way the browser is working again. I hope that link helps if you are having any problems with Firefox.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

A Season of Bloglessness? 29 Jan 2010 2:50 AM (15 years ago)

It’s raining this morning, and in addition to the loving behavior of my younger cat Hooboo making bread on my shoulder before settling down on top of me to await my arousal, I woke to thinking about blogging. It’s been more than a month since I wrote anything and I apologize to all of you who’ve been checking in from time to time.

I titled this the “Season of Bloglessness” because I’m not the only one who hasn’t been blogging lately. My friend Susan just posted after an absence of over two weeks and my good friend Sandi has been absent from blog land for almost as long. I’ll let you read Susan’s blog to find out what she’s been up to.

Sandi on the other hand is very busy with a no longer empty nest. Her son Wallace has moved back in. I’ll let Sandi tell you the story but you need to know that her life is doing all kinds of adjusting right now, so if you read her blog please take the time to drop by and give her support. I know she means to get back to blogging sometime soon but her computer is in what is now Wallace’s bedroom.

My job is going well. I love what I’m doing and the people I’m working with. Thank you for being so faithful. I’ll try to write again soon with pictures of the Christmas Poinsettias I was gifted with. Blessings for now.

One Little, Two Little, Three Little Census Takers 13 Dec 2009 1:03 PM (15 years ago)

Life got rather busy a few weeks ago. I mentioned in an earlier post that the Census had called and asked me to work for them again. The job kept getting postponed for a couple of weeks and that frustrated me some at the time. But the work finally started and it is still as much fun as it was earlier this year. The slow spell of the summer is over and we are gearing up to hire a lot of folk for the upcoming census taking. If you want a temporary job that pays fairly well and helps your government put resources where they are needed most then click here. One of the nice things I like about this job is there is so much to learn about the project. I’m a perpetual student and excel in learning environments. This one has a lot to teach me.

The fact that we do a Census every 10 years is dictated by law. I believe it’s written into the Constitution. There is a deadline for it. The Census totals need to be on President Obama’s desk on a specific date in the middle of next December. The goal is to do a better job of counting every person in the country than they did in past decades. We are aiming for 100%! That 100 percent isn’t just those of us who live in houses or apartments. It includes trailer parks too. That I could have figured out. But for some reason I hadn’t figured on them counting campground dwellers, boat owners who live in them on the water, and people in care facilities like hospitals, retirement communities, and jails. And then there are the people who live in shelters, under bridges and overpasses, and in boxes. Yep, we plan on counting them too. That thought brings to mind an old black and white movie image of hoboes around a campfire. I wonder if they will search railroad cars for people.

That’s the main news on my front. I’m busy and feeling good about it. Yay! Other news is that my list of friends on Facebook has grown. A bit of that is thanks to Classmates.com. I’m reconnected with a few folks in my high school graduating class. That’s kind of neat and I’ll probably try to go to a reunion when they hold it. On a more interactive front an old college chum got in touch with me the same way. I'd not heard from Harry in something close to 30 years but we were great friends when we attended the same college. He’s doing well and is in town for the holidays to see his Mum. We are meeting for lunch tomorrow. I wonder what we will talk about.

My Dad sent me a box full of pictures from the family collection. He is scanning them into his computer and was just going to toss them so I asked if I could have them instead. Yeah, I love a digital image and can look at one for hours if it’s really good. But just like books, a real photograph printed on paper is somehow more tangible and generates strong memories and emotions. Guess I”m just an old fashioned girl when it comes to some things.

I guess the last bit of news is that tonight I’m attending a Celtic Christmas Concert at my church. The music I’ll hear is going to be performed by Jeff Johnson, Brian Dunning, and Wendy Goodwin. I hope to come away with a CD or two of their music. If you want to listen to some clips of their stuff the website is here. I’ll try to write about the concert and my impressions later this week.

Peace, Hope & Joy!

Counterpoint to the Evening 13 Nov 2009 3:25 AM (15 years ago)

Wednesday evening is practice night for my church choir, of which I’ve been a member for about a year. These days we are gearing up for the annual Lessons & Carols service. It’s exciting because there are always lots of new numbers to sing and it is the choir showcase service. We are also thinking ahead to Christmas Eve service which also has lots of music in it. Our choir director asked if any of us would be interested in doing some group numbers, not exactly solos but still out front and I said count me in. So this Christmas I may be part of a trio singing a medley of carols.

When choir practice was over we had a birthday celebration for anyone who’s birthday is in November and those we’d missed earlier in the year. This is renewing an old tradition among our group that fell into disuse and I think we are all happy to have it back again. Everybody should have their special day. The members who volunteered to sponsor this month’s celebration brought wine, desserts, and some nice crackers, chips, and dips. It was all good. Then we left for the evening.

Outside our sanctuary door there’s a motion activated security light. It’s dark earlier these days so I was glad that it came on as I headed out to my car. But apparently someone in the world wasn’t so happy. As I passed the tree on the corner of the building I heard a sound I’d never heard before. It was a sort of hooting. I stopped and listened and it happened again and again. It was an owl protesting about light disturbing his peace. In all my life I can’t remember ever having heard an owl before, but I recognized it immediately. Perhaps there’s no other bird that sounds like that. Maybe it’s so distinctive that once you’ve been told what an owl sounds like you can’t mistake that sound for any other bird. The moment made me feel very good. To know that nature was out there and active, that a bird I tend to think of as a wilderness creature was on our church grounds, made me aware of how special our sanctuary and grounds are. Whenever I’m on our campus I feel blessed. There’s this feeling that just seems to fill the grounds up, not just the sanctuary. We call ourselves reconcilers and I think that sound served to remind me that we reconcile ourselves to nature too.

The Happiness Project had an interesting post the other day about de-cluttering. It was rules to not follow. In it Gretchen gave Eleven Myths of De-cluttering along with how we should not follow those old beliefs and why. I was surprised to find these out and have to admit that I’m guilty of believing and practicing many of them. Maybe I can try out these new methods and get better results. What do you think? Are you guilty of any of these?

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Happiness is a Playful Cat 10 Nov 2009 8:24 AM (15 years ago)

Stray Porch Kitty, these days affectionately called Hooboo, made his presence felt this morning. When he thinks it’s time to get up, usually just before the alarm goes off, he gets up on the bed and either makes bread on my shoulder (thank goodness for comforters) or lays down on top of me and settles in to wait for signs of wakefulness. Today it went a little beyond that. If you read Sandi's blog you’ll remember that just this weekend she talked about her cats and how Sonny gets up on the bed, plays with Mac, and then snuggles under the covers to play “bat nose” with her. This morning it seemed that Hooboo has developed his own version of that game. From his settled perch upon my upper body his little paw reached down to tentatively pat my cheek and then my nose. Yes there was one tiny claw sticking out. He was very gentle until I reached up to pet him. Then the game became attack the hand which drove me back under the covers. LOL He didn’t hurt me but I was very glad for fast reflexes. And doubly grateful for a loving cat who likes to be close to me in the early morning hours. What a fun way to start the day.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Blending Two Projects 9 Nov 2009 5:03 PM (15 years ago)

For the last 10 days my good friend Sandi has been taking part in the Month of Giving Thanks challenge. She’s found something to be grateful for every day and it has kept her writing. I find this a happy circumstance because I love reading her blog.

For the past few months I’ve been following The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin on my Google reader. That blog is the interesting result of Gretchen taking a year and trying out every “make yourself happier” method she could discover and it has attracted many readers and generated a book. It’s provided me with some tiny mood enhancers which might seem small and insignificant but if anything helps you feel better then I say, “Way to go!”

I considered joining Sandi in her Thanksgiving project. I have a lot to be grateful for. And reading her daily posts has helped me remember that. But being grateful has doesn't always bring me joy. And reflecting on that, plus this evening’s conversation with my counselor, has generated this post

Being grateful, especially when you are enjoying what you are grateful for, is wonderful! But sometimes it can serve to emphasize a need you have. When that happens no matter how grateful you are for the help you got, whether from friends or any other source, you hear this inner voice saying, “You’re needy!” Boom there goes your happiness and sometimes the relief for having had your needs met. That’s a horrid way to feel about yourself. And it’s silly! There’s nothing wrong with having needs! Everyone does. We need air. We need food. We need shelter. We need friends and moments in our lives when everything feels like it is going right. And sometimes, when things in your life go horribly wrong you need lots of other kinds of help. That doesn’t make you a horrid person or a weak one. But I’m sure you’re smart enough to know that fighting those internal messages is more than difficult. It’s a monumental task and takes strength, insight, and perseverance. Not to mention a lot of self retraining.

So this evening when talking to my counselor, I declared that I didn’t like certain things in my life and I wanted to feel happier. I’d like to make sweeping changes in my life and have everything be back on track the way it was before certain catastrophic events occurred in my life. However, that’s not very realistic of me. I’m not a sweeping change person. I’m a one step at a time girl who doesn’t multitask well. So for the next few posts and maybe many posts to come I’m going to be talking about things that make me grateful and things that make me happy.

I believe the Thanksgiving was initiated nicely in my first paragraph. I’m so grateful that I have a wonderful friend like Sandi. She plays scrabble with me almost everyday and shares her life with me. We keep tabs on what we’re watching on TV (in my case on the internet) and what our plans are for the week. We pray for one another and show due concern when needful. And we are so much alike that Sandi has declared me a sister. If I could move the entire state of South Carolina and fit inside of Texas, right next to San Antonio, I’d gladly do so because that would mean that I could visit Sandi as easily as I drive to church. Someday, Sandi and I are going to meet face to face. When that happens it’s going to be one of the most wonderful trips I’ve ever taken!

Now for happiness. The things I’ve been gathering from The Happiness Project that help brighten my mood are 1) make your bed and 2) put on your shoes. That sounds silly doesn’t it? But doing those two things actually helps me feel prepared to face other things. If there is anything I can take from that it’s the understanding that happiness isn’t superficial, or momentary. It’s an entire many layers deep feeling that is affected by your lifestyle and the choices you make which lead to feeling ready to face anything that might come your way. I can find changes caused by those two tiny actions when I look over the past week. When I grumbled about not having work when I’d expected to, my blogging friend Jinsky told me that I should use the time to enjoy something nice, like a really good book. I’d like to confess that it wasn’t a book that I enjoyed. It was cooking.

When I was younger I was a decent cook. After those life changing events it felt like I’d forgotten how to cook. That’s almost impossible if you learned, as I did, from a loving grandmother. But somehow things became difficult and appeared insurmountable. That really bothered me. Not this week, though! I found myself making breakfast again. Not cereal but scrambled eggs which meant there were pans to clean afterwards. The next thing was breaking out the broiler. I’ve been buying my major groceries through Angel Foods for 2 months now and I’ve got way too much stuff in my freezer. So the other night I decided it was time to use some of the steaks. I got the broiling pan, cleaned it, and reorganized the oven drawer in the process. Then I thawed 3 steaks and broiled them after I found the cookbook that reminded me for how long. They were delicious thanks to Kevin (old navy friend) who taught me to use a hint of garlic powder and celery seasoning when cooking beef. Yum!

About the work thing, I’m still hired but they called on Friday morning and said, Come on Monday,” and then called Friday afternoon and said, “Oops! We’re sorry but everyone has to wait another week.” That’s week 2 of a job with no work. So I’m praying that it doesn’t happen again. At least I’ve got time to do some other things, like play scrabble with Sandi. I’m sure I’ll find other things to do to fill the time but right now I’ve no idea what. But it will be interesting to find out.

Peace! Hope! & Joy!

From Joy to a Dangling Feeling 2 Nov 2009 8:36 AM (15 years ago)

Last Monday the Census called to ask me to go back to work for them. Of course I said yes! I really liked the job and the people I worked with earlier this year.

The man who called asked me to start last Friday for training. So bright and early that morning I was up and out the door. The day was wonderful! It felt like a home coming! There were lots of familiar faces, catching up on what we’d been up to, finding out what was going to happen next, and nodding with one another that this or that was no surprise.

We were told to come back today and that there would be continued training. So today I got up and happily headed out the door to continue learning what would be expected of me. Everyone was excited and happy when we met at the office door, waiting till it was unlocked and the alarm was disarmed to go in and get started. That feeling didn’t last long. We were barely inside the door when the supervisor asked us to listen to her before we got started. It turns out our bosses jumped the gun and had started us working a bit too early. We were being asked to turn around and go home. What?!!!

The supervisor assured us we were still hired. She said we would be called later this week and told where to report next Monday. She handed us all time sheets and asked us to fill them out for today and we got log half an hour of time and mileage if we’re working for a different office. So the day isn’t a total loss. It just feels unsettling.

I’m giving up a different temporary job to take this Census one because this one is going to give me steady work, probably through summer of next year. I’m really excited about that! But not having work when I expected to just bothers me and I feel like I don’t know what to do with myself. So I’m trying to figure out what I can do to fill in the time. Handle paperwork I guess. Run a few errands. But I really don’t want to do much spending till I’ve got money coming in.

One thing is puzzling me. Every time I’ve worked a temporary job before, if I showed up for work I was given a minimum of 4 hours of time. If there was nothing to do I found a way to stay busy. This 30 minute thing has me wondering if they should have had us all fill the time sheets out for 4 hours instead of the 30 minutes. I don’t know if that’s a labor requirement set in stone by some law or just a standard policy which can be ignored by the hiring agency. Like I said, kind of unsettling. So I’m trying to figure out if I should be grateful for what we were given or if I should say something. If you know something about that kind of situation I’d really appreciate hearing what you have to say. In the meantime, thank God for work!

Peace!

A Quiet Day this Saturday 15 Oct 2009 7:57 AM (15 years ago)

Once a year my church holds a day of rest and reflection. We call it our Quiet Day. This will be my first year to attend. In some ways I’m looking forward to it. What will the day be like? We have gentle yoga planned. Are there other activities? In other ways I’m a bit nervous. I find peace in solitude, will there be too many people for that? Presumably I’ll spend time quietly talking to God, or maybe just waiting. Will I find answers to my questions? Or will I fidget too much, as I’m wont to do, to find peace?

Today my friend San has a new post up that gives me food for thought. It’s about a view on life that has one turning around and viewing life from the opposite direction. It also covers the inner and outer voices. That gave me so much to think about that I’m hoping I’ll be able to focus on it’s meanings on Saturday. The post, you can read it here, made me think about seeing things from that different perspective. Can it really be that simple? Can I mentally turn my chair around and see my life differently? On Saturday?

The key concept of my hope derives from something I’ve done once unsuccessfully and my priest did recently very successfully. What we both attempted was wandering in the wilderness. My priest went on sabbatical. During that time he went on a solo hiking trip, after a meditative and prayerful retreat, to spend time with God in the wilderness. My last attempt at walking with God in the wilderness was a couple of years ago and even with all the markers on the trail I focused on the wrong things, didn’t plan carefully enough, and had wrong info which, if corrected, would have given me a lifeline. The result for my priest was that he came back refreshed, renewed, and changed from his experiences. My results were different. I got lost and in the process lost faith in myself. Not in God though. I give him all the credit for me not ending up in an emergency room after getting lost on a walk that had plenty of signs if I’d known how to read them.

In some ways that analogy also applies to my life and career choices. Good intentions aren’t enough. You have to have skills in reading signs, and plan with forethought and self awareness when you choose the paths you take. So when I asked my priest last Sunday if he would teach a class on how to find our way in the wilderness I was being more than hopeful. It occurs to me that perhaps learning how to walk in the wilderness physically would also help me walk it metaphorically.

Since I’m seeming to place so much hope on this idea I plan on encouraging my priest again to teach this class. Folk in my church love going hiking and for the past 2 years we’ve had a trip to a beautiful camping place in our state, Big Bend. There are a lot of places around our city where we can go hiking. We even have access to several places that can be reached on day trips, done with 2 hours of driving each way. I’m not ignorant of the fact that it takes more than locale to teach one how to survive in the wilderness. I just hope that I can generalize the skills of successful navigation to the rest of my life. And that by going into the wilderness with God I’ll tune out the distractions of life, as I did in my youth, and focus on what is real and true. Maybe that will make a difference.

Puzzle Share 3 Oct 2009 2:54 AM (15 years ago)

He Stretched His Arms Out Upon the Cross 13 Sep 2009 11:24 AM (15 years ago)

Today’s service was a visual example of the meaning of the action of Christ upon the cross.

It was Community Speaks Sunday and, as is our custom, we had a guest speaker, Kay Briggs, who is author of the book The Magic Seashells. The Magic Seashells is Kay’s story about her recovery and healing from sexual abuse she received as a child. Hers is a beautiful message about how she tried to live out her life in the perfect appearance so often demanded by our society, keeping her experiences and troubles a secret, until she learned that to heal from the hurt done to her as a child she had to embrace the darkness of her experience and find God’s love within it.

We also blessed and said goodbye to a member who is on a journey away from us. He is headed off to prison for the crime of downloading child pornography and will serve several years in the state facility. He knew better than to do what he did. He feels bad about it and asked over a year ago for forgiveness and we gave it with a lovely service of prayer and laying on of hands in blessing in the hopes that his journey will find him healed at the end. We all knew his day to leave would come. We just didn’t know it was going to be today.

I worry about this man because I know that what he did has made him an outcast to some of our church, society at large, and will also do the same to him in prison. From my ex who is a jailor, “inmates all have children and they hate child abusers so any inmate that they learn has hurt children has to be locked away in administrative detention to save their life from the other inmates who will beat them up and try to kill them.” So he may end up in solitary for the next few years just to live. Even if he doesn’t enter solitary confinement he certainly can’t make friends with anyone and reveal his offense.  It’s a long and lonely road he has ahead of him.

Kay’s message was a blessing to me and I know that it wasn’t easy what she did, learning to accept herself and be open about her experiences. Kay may have had her own prison of sorts trying to live out the lie of perfection. I’ve known other people who experienced child abuse and it’s a lonely misfit life they live until they find healing for that hurt. 

After we prayed for him, our departing member, I sat there and thought about what that meant, the welcoming of a victim of child abuse and prayerfully blessing an enabler of it. It seemed such a dichotomy. So radical. So extreme! From victim to criminal, Christ’s forgiving love was exemplified by the actions of our priest and the community. That is such a huge stretch that it boggles the mind. Is there nothing that God can’t or won’t forgive, fix, or heal? Apparently not. So I think that for the next few days, or perhaps weeks, I’ll be thinking about how wide Christ’s arms stretched when he laid them down upon that cross for us all. It’s a humbling thought.

May the love of God enfold each and everyone of you today and everyday! Peace! Hope! & Joy!

Affordable Dining 12 Sep 2009 8:20 AM (15 years ago)

My church has a pretty good outreach program. We work with all kinds of ministries trying to reach out to our neighborhood and community at large. The newest program we’ve just started sponsoring is Angel Food Ministries. This is a service that provides food for less than you might pay at your local supermarket. There are various packages of food stuffs you can buy through this service. Most of this is not prepared. You do your own cooking. For those who are on food stamps, having a hard time with the budget, or just want to stretch your resources you can order one or two of the food packages which most closely meets your needs and pay for them when you order. Then on delivery day, about two weeks after the order deadline, you go to the local host site and pick up your order.

This will be the first month we’ve been a host site and I’m ordering. After looking at the monthly menu I chose the signature package and am considering the senior convenience package as well. What the signature package has is several pounds of meat, some frozen vegetables, sacks of potatoes and onions, fruit juice, eggs, and shelf stable milk. The contents are sufficient to feed a family of 4 for a week. Being single I’m pretty sure I can stretch that to at least 2 weeks maybe more. The senior convenience box has 10 frozen dinners and desserts. Those two boxes of food will run me less than I usually spend at the store when I shop for 2 weeks. The reason I’m only considering, rather than determined to buy, the convenience box is that I tend to be a bit lazy. Having food I don’t need to cook would probably mean that the microwave dinners would be used first and the food that requires cooking would be used last. I think the selling point on that will be how large the frozen dinners are. So I’ll ask. Another strong contender for purchase on my part is the produce box. But if I buy that I’d have more potatoes than I could use in a couple of months and some fruit that might go to waste. Guess I don’t need to tell you that waste would eradicate the savings in this.

The food looks appealing in the pictures on the website and there are recipes to suggest ways of using the food. The members who suggested this ministry checked it out and assured us that it is quality food. I explored the website a bit further and there’s a nice online magazine that has recipes and articles on how the service has helped. It has some spiritual articles too. San Antonio, being a major city, has quite a few host sites. If you don’t live in a large city you can probably drive to a nearby site either in your town or another one nearby. This service is popular with churches. So I’d like to encourage you to check out the website. Just go here. There’s a nice user friendly menu of additional pages with more info on the upper right of the home page. I’ll let you know how this experiment in affordable dining turns out.

Puzzle Share and Bits of News 5 Sep 2009 5:02 AM (15 years ago)

New Artist – New Song on Playlist 4 Sep 2009 5:45 AM (15 years ago)

A fellow blogger, Alt of Bones of the Sky blog, has put up a video of a young man, Joe Pug, who is just starting his music career. I found the performance riveting! The lyrics to Hymn 101 are intense and thought provoking! I kept listening to it over and over. When I realized this I added it to the playlist. If you’d like to, you can find him on YouTube or there is a website for him here. To see and hear the video on Alt’s blog go here. Enjoy!

Where I'd Like to be Next Spring 17 Aug 2009 9:11 AM (15 years ago)

For awhile now I’ve wanted to get over to the San Antonio Botanical Gardens, so when my friend Jenny called and suggested we get out of the house this is where I suggested we go. Jenny liked this idea, so on Saturday we each left our respective homes and headed down to the gardens with the goal of arriving before the morning heat came full on. We didn’t quite make it but the time waiting for her to catch up with me was spent familiarizing myself with the macro controls on my camera, a Canon Powershot A570 is.

What the manual told me was that I had a setting for foliage under the Special Circumstances mode and that if I pressed the control that looked like a tulip I’d get macro mode which would allow me to get within 2 inches of anything I cared to shoot. I was delighted to discover that macro mode was available on foliage mode, it isn’t in some modes, so my camera pretty much stayed on foliage settings the entire morning.



That’s the entrance to the gardens, taken while I was sitting there waiting for Jenny to arrive. The gardens are wheelchair accessible and we are looking at the ramp to the main entry way. Then I turned around and saw this gorgeous bougainvillea.

After Jenny got there, we paid for entrance and headed out into the gardens where I promptly found something to photograph, and discovered I had to change batteries. I gritted my teeth because I knew I should have switched them out and recharged the old ones before we left. Fortunately I always carry a charged set in the case. The problem this created was a possible limit on the number of images I could take while exploring the park. I recently read that doing preview mode on a digital camera quickly uses up your batteries so I decided I’d avoid that as much as possible. And off we headed to the rose garden.


The garden had tons of roses in all colors, but the one that caught my eye was this one. This is a trumpeter rose. I was enchanted by the variety of shades it showed on the same bush. You might think I’d be taking pictures right and left as I wandered, and if I’d been sure of my resources I would have. But since I didn’t know how long the batteries would last I took the best shot I could in each of the gardens and left it at that.

You could tell the gardens had been feeling the heat. San Antonio is on stage 2 water restrictions because of drought so we can only hand water if we want to do it daily. Watering by sprinkler is only allowed once a week. So there were volunteers throughout the gardens with hoses in their hands.

Because it was so hot and dry the prettiest sections of the gardens were the parts with plants native to Texas. And since it’s heading into autumn the butterflies are starting their migration although that probably won’t be in full swing till September. Even so, there were plenty of them fluttering around the garden and I tried to catch one. Those darn butterflies are fast and difficult to catch with their wings open. So I took exactly 2 shots and decided to give up thinking I’d been unsuccessful. When I got home and uploaded the pictures I found that while I’d been focusing on one butterfly, another had snuck into the shot and it was showing open wings. So here you go!


I guess that guy in the bottom of the shot wanted his 15 minutes of fame. LOL These look a bit like monarchs but their colors aren’t as bright as I remember monarchs being so I’m thinking it must be a different variety or perhaps a close cousin. A few steps further along, I came across this plant.


I really liked the laciness of the leaves and the airiness of this pretty flower. If I ever learn the name of it that will go on my list of plants for future gardens.

By this time the garden was heating up and I wanted to head for the cooler parts of the gardens. Those included a walk around a small lake on the property and a stroll through the climate controlled gardens kept inside buildings. On the way there we strolled through the area that the gardens use to hold summer concerts. And just at the entrance to the lawn there is the beautiful wisteria arbor. I took the following picture of the entrance to it.


It’s amazing how green this is as late in summer as we are and with hundred degree heat almost daily. But when I owned a house one of the plants in the garden was a Texas Wisteria so I think this might be covered with that variety. Then I went over and sat down on that bench on the right and took this next shot.


Isn’t that circular framing fascinating with those vines hanging off of it. This is where I intend to be next spring when the wisteria blooms. Wisteria is a beautiful bluish lavender bloom that has a very short season and I’m so looking forward to when those circles of vines will be strewn with gorgeous flowers.

After we sat there and rested for a bit we hit the lake and fed the ducks.


There are benches through out the gardens and I was sitting on one when I took this. None of the duck shots I took turned out well so I’m storing them for later study to see how I can improve my technique. From here we headed to the climate controlled gardens because it was no 11:30 AM and I wanted to see the air conditioned gardens I remembered from my last visit. Sure enough they didn’t disappoint!


These caught my eye because they were up above me where the man made waterfalls were coming from. They are gorgeous but I’ve no idea what they are called. If you know a name for them please leave it for me in a comment. One thing you’ll be able to tell from the pictures I’ve taken here is that red is my favorite color.

There’s a pathway through this garden. It’s very necessary because the place looks sort of like what I imagine a jungle or rain forest might look like. Plants are everywhere and very close together, pile one on top of another. There were several varieties of orchids, most of which were up high but there was one that was hanging down and had placed itself conveniently against a light colored background. Jenny spotted that one so it is thanks to her that I have this shot.

The intensity of color here has me wondering how hard orchids are to raise.

Before we left this cool and enjoyable area I noticed one more really intense red bloom. Jenny told me a funny story about her 3 year old granddaughter’s interpretation of what the stamen was. Seems the child thought the flower was “using the bathroom.” LOL Weird stamen or not, this color is intense.


Notice the white flower behind it? I know that if I had a faster shutter speed I’d have had a better chance of getting that flower in focus which was what I had hoped would happen. But I’m not that good with the elaborate controls my camera gives me. A smart photographer and blogger once said, take your camera out and use one control at a time till you get really good with it. I think that is what I need to do. Even though the white bloom is blurry I still like the color contrast.

The next few climate controlled gardens were desert, bromeliad, and the fern glade. These were not as physically comfortable as the previous garden so we didn’t stay long. It was in one of them that I learned what a tea plant looked like. I’d never seen one and the sign in front of it informed me that there is only one type of tea plant and that what you purchase. Whether it is black, green, or orange pekoe is all a matter of processing. The tea plant isn’t in bloom. I don’t know if it DOES bloom. But here is what provides our wonderful morning refreshment if you’re a tea drinker.


After this I headed to the water gardens because 1) they are beautiful and 2) Sandi has one and I wanted to share some of the flowers I knew would be there with her. So here are the water lily pictures. I took four of them, one of them a close up of the blooms that weren’t open but I hoped would be soon.

There’s a stepping stone pathway across the water garden and that’s where I stood to take this one. The next two I had to walk around the edge of the pond trying to stay off the lawn as much as possible because there wasn’t a designed trail but merely a place free from most grass that I think was created by visitors who wanted to get closer to the flowers just like I did.


Here’s flower number two. I shared this one with Sandi by email but I’d taken more than one shot of it and this one seems to show the flowers better although the other one has a better placement. It’s below. What’s your feeling about that?


For this one there was very little that I could do to avoid the obvious pond controls in the shot. However, I liked the bloom because it is on a much taller stem than these others have been.

It was a very awkward angle that I took this from. I stood at the very edge of the water and then just put the camera in my hand and held it out as far as I could towards the plant and got this next one for my efforts.


I couldn’t begin to tell you what made such a difference but my arm is about two and a half feet in length and I zoomed in as much as possible with a small prayer as I snapped the photo.

Now it was 12:30PM, the temperature was about 100 degrees, and we were both hungry and tired. So we discussed where to go for lunch on the walk back to the garden entrance. We decided to eat at the Carriage House, which is the garden restaurant, because I said if I had to drive anywhere I’d drive home.

On the way towards lunch I got two more shots. The first was this native plant, which once again I don’t know the name of. But purples and lavenders are my second favorite color so here’s a pretty shot of something I see a lot in the xeriscape gardens around here.

We even have some in the church garden.

I was feeling all sentimental when I took this last picture. It is of a plant my grandmother had in her garden when I was a child, although not this color. Which is why I took it!


Grandmother’s pomegranates were red in color. Just like the ones we are all pretty familiar with. I didn’t know that these lovely fruit came in orange and perhaps other colors. I also loved the bright red flowers that were growing next to and below it on the other side of the wall. What a nice image to close out my trip to the gardens with!

I hope you’ve enjoyed the trip with me. I also hope I get the chance to go again soon. I know I’ll be there next spring. Got to see that wisteria in bloom. Blessings!

Dibs of This and Dabs of That 10 Aug 2009 5:21 AM (15 years ago)

Sunday was a lovely day! It is has been my favorite day of the week since I started attending both morning services. For most of the time I’ve been at Church of Reconciliation I was a regular at early service (8:00 AM). Then I joined the choir and my attendance switched to late service (10:30 AM) because the early service is a contemplative service and doesn’t usually have music. When I conferred with my priest about my function as a verger in training he suggested that since I was the verger with the most early service experience that should be my area of focus. This was just great with me because there were friends I’d made at early service that I missed when I attended late service. So these days I head to church early, aiming to be there by 7:30 AM, so that I can be helpful if anyone needs assistance and step in to take over a role if the person who was assigned to it is absent and no substitute was arranged for. This is the function of a verger, to help things run smoothly.

The past few Sunday’s our newest member of altar guild has been arriving early and setting up when I got there. This gentleman is very nice and helpful. He says he’s still in training so that is why he has been doing the setup every Sunday. That fits in with my feelings about pre-service setup. There have been enough changes to the way we do things now, thanks to our wonderful associate rector, that I need to practice and remind myself how things go and what is different between the two services.

On Sunday I also ran into my verger/instructor who cleared a few misconceptions up about the way things were supposed to go in my training. The verger trainee who is most fully trained was there too and they are both going to send me necessary documents so that I can complete the sheaf of pages necessary for Robert, our rector, to read and sign off on when he returns from Sabbatical at the beginning of October. At that time we all want to be ready so that he can do an induction ceremony during one of the services.

Not long ago I finished my taxes which I’d filed an extension on when I was looking for some paperwork. I never found the paperwork but it wasn’t critical to the return so once I got the desk cleared off, for the umpteenth time, I did them online using the Turbo Tax free online software and efiled for free too. My refund hit my account in 2 weeks and on Saturday I went grocery shopping at WalMart. It was a lovely time and I over loaded the cart with good things. I’ve taken to using the store brands since they cost less money. My goal when buying groceries is to have each meal cost as close to one dollar as possible. I think I did a pretty good job of that and my pantry and freezer are over stocked with good things to eat again. Plus some snacks. I plead guilty on the snack thing as I bought a package of Oreo type cookies but they were store brand ($2) and I put them in the freezer and am only having them in 3 cookie increments. That's what the package says is a serving size and I’m sticking to it. I also got some of those mini cups of ice cream so that I can have a dessert which is portion controlled. Yay for Blue Bell who puts these things in bags of 12. That will last me several weeks before I run out.

The book I’m reading lately is Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore. It’s non fiction which has traditionally been hard for me to keep on reading after an initial endeavor. But this book is speaking to me in ways that have a lot to do with my need for understanding the concept of soul and its growth plus Moore uses mythology to illustrate his points and his story telling is like someone explaining a parable. It was the explaining of a parable that brought my belief in God to completion and I think this is working the same way. Instead of reading fast I find myself reading a paragraph, sometimes just a sentence, at a time and enjoying the meaning I’m discovering there. As a child I read all of Bullfinch’s Mythology and also Edith Wharton’s book on the subject so it delights me to find this excellent story teller using the story of The Odyssey and the story of Persephone's abduction to illustrate loss, searching, and journeys of discovery.

A couple of weeks ago I held a de-flea day. I went to the vet and got some Frontline Plus for my boys, a couple of pills that get rid of all the fleas on them in 30 minutes, without hurting the cats, and a huge can of carpet spray that kills fleas in just a few minutes and has a residual effect. After coming home and using all of the above my desk is now my own again for the most part. The boys still like to be close to me but they no longer feel they need to leave the floor to be comfortable and free of biting pests. I got this done early enough that Hyrum's ruff is saved for the summer. In the past the dermatitis he gets from flea bites generates enough scratching and grooming measures that it is thinned out by the time he feels comfortable. That might be cooler for him but it looks awful. His ruff and thick coat are a couple of his most attractive features and it takes a long time, almost a year, for that gorgeous fur collar to grow back in. So I’m very happy with this turn of events.

On the scrabble playing front, Sandi and I’ve are still using Pogo.com to play scrabble online, but we are now using their National Scrabble Association (NSA) game rooms and rules. This makes the game more challenging and fun. By NSA rules we each get 30 minutes at the beginning of the game. Your clock counts down from whatever is left on it when it is your turn to play. If you are slow and end up using all of your 30 minutes before the game is over you lose 10 points for each minute or part of as you and your opponent strive to complete the game. That drastically changes the scoring and speeds things up a bit. I discovered that I need to memorize the 2 Letter Word chart for the game. Apparently, serious scrabble players memorize quite a few charts and word lists. Or at least that is my impression. So I went online and found a table of 2 letter words and also some lists of 3 letter words. It’s the uncommon ones that you have to work on. Those are often the ones that get you the most parts. I’m not very good at playing by NSA rules yet. I get stuck in one word mode too frequently, looking for some place to play it. I also need to practice my word on word building skills. You can make much bigger scores by running a word right alongside of another word already played than you can by branching off perpendicular to that word and using up valuable open space on the board. While researching this I discovered that there is a NSA Scrabble club in town. Going to a meeting might be something nice to do and if they have training sessions there I might gain some added skills that would be of good use. Right now my rating is dropping and I’m at a loss as to how to bring it back up. Sandi’s is on the rise and she has achieved intermediate level according to Pogo.com.

That's it on the personal news front. I hope you all have a good week and don’t expire in the horrid heat we’ve been experiencing down here in south Texas. If you’ve gotten any rain of late please send it my way. Cheers!

Eating to Live 3 Aug 2009 6:20 AM (15 years ago)

“Eat to Live” that’s what my Mom brought me up to do. If you are asking yourself what that is, it’s making making healthy food choices when you eat. Have I always done this? No!

During the course of my marriage my ex taught me how to “live to eat.” The results of that was that I, who had NEVER needed to diet (In fact, at 5’8”and 117 lbs., I needed to put on weight.), gained so many pounds that before my marriage ended I’d gotten up to 197. It didn’t help that I was going into menopause at the time we got married or that I had a job that kept me up all night and asleep all day. My ex was a sedentary couch potato who was a better, if not healthier, cook than I was. He eventually developed Type II Diabetes, although not while we were together. I consider myself lucky to have avoided that dreaded disease.

Eating healthy doesn’t mean you have to diet. It doesn’t mean you have to avoid your favorite foods either. It does mean you should make the effort to eat them in moderation and as often as possible make healthier choices if your favorites aren’t good for you. If you don’t believe me on the healthy choices thing just ask Sandi. That post, her last post in December of 2008, is about how her making one bad choice almost landed her in the hospital. Making healthy choices doesn’t have to be hard. It does mean you need to know what healthy choices are, exhibit a little self control from time to time (This gets easier with practice!), and provide yourself with options at the dinner table so you don’t suffer feelings of deprivation.

I do my choosing by portion control, picking low sodium foods, and trying to avoid fat. I’m not perfect at this by any stretch of the imagination. Breads and crackers are my downfall. Get a package of cinnamon graham crackers around me and watch the pounds pile on. But I try my best not to keep the things I know will cause a weight gain in my pantry. And yes, that includes cinnamon grahams.

I wean myself off of bad choices if I learn I’m making them. I did this with milk in my marriage. He wanted whole milk. I discovered you could bake with 2% milk so I suggested this. We agreed it would be better and the change in fat wasn’t significant taste wise, so after 3 or 4 weeks of drinking that we were adapted to a lower fat milk. Then I suggested low fat or 1% because I needed the extra calcium in my diet and it was a better choice. For some reason when you reduce fat in milk the amount of calcium you get is increased. He agreed again so it was another step down. Then a few months later we went down to skim milk. This worked really well till his sister came for a visit. When she called our skim milk “chalk water” he immediately wanted to go back up to a higher fat content version. We did for a while and then went back down again. LOL You can probably guess from all of the above that eating healthy was a constant battle during our marriage. He was doing most of the cooking and would always be adding a little extra this or that into the food to “make it taste better.” As soon as our marriage ended the weight started dropping off and I went down to 145, a healthy weight for me.

I’m 155 pounds these days and I know I could easily drop the extra 10 pounds if I would exercise regularly. I still retain some of that couch potato habit I gained during my marriage, although it’s actually more of a desk chair habit as I spend most of my time at the computer these days. I’m working on the exercise thing. For some reason I find self control with exercise harder than with food. Oh well, resolutions are as easy to make as they are to break and all I have to do to get back on track is make a new one and I’ll work at it for a few days which is better than none at all. But enough about me.

The reason I started this now pretty long post (It wasn’t intended to be that, honest!), was to share a website that shows you how to make those healthy food choices by providing you with the info you need to make them. It’s Eat This, Not That! a page sponsored by Women’s Health magazine and also Men’s Health. They cover a full range of food choices and places where you might need to make them like eating out or the convenience store aisle. I’ve been following them through Yahoo, and then Google reader. I’ve found reason to share their articles with friends and family. You might find some of their info handy in the grocery store or at your favorite fast food restaurant. Their Best & Worst articles cover everything from gender health to sex. And there are lots of better choices for kids mentioned too. I hope you’ll make the time to check them out. Maybe it will help you make different choices the next time you hit the grocery store. Bon appétit!