Cheers! The Penultimate Post 8 Jun 2020 2:16 AM (4 years ago)
So today I turn 60. And even with all the horrors going on right now--a lethal virus allowed to run rampant by a reckless leader, the rise of an authoritarian regime bent on destroying democracy, millions of citizens on the brink of economic ruin, and racism, sexism and xenophobia run amok--I'm still superficial enough to be a little creeped out about having a milestone birthday.
I always imagined 60 as the portal through which middle-aged people traveled to arrived at official old age. Now that I'm stepping through the threshold myself, I find myself shrieking: "Noooo, not me, not yet! I'm not ready to be old!"
And sure, aging is natural and 100% organic, just like dying. I should embrace the whole life-cycle, right? Not just the younger, firmer, prettier parts. Because, um... wisdom? Perspective? Getting to shop at the grocery store at 6 am if you want, before the younger less-vulnerable people buy up all the toilet paper?
Nah, I'm still grumpy about it. On the plus side, it's mainly the number that's bothering me, not any meaningful physical limitations. They'll be heading my way soon enough. But for now, except for the gray hair, wrinkles, and having to scroll through drop-down menus for twenty minutes to find my birth year when I fill out online forms, this aging thing has been a pretty benign process.
But on approaching the big Six-Oh, it seemed a good deadline for addressing some Unfinished Business. Like: Cranky Fitness, this blog with the wonderful readers who have meant so much me, has been sitting out here for a couple years all by iteslf, still on-duty, looking all awkward and expectant.
There was a time when I thought what Cranky Fitness was waiting for was for Crabby McSlacker to get her act together and come back and post some things in it! But no, it seems the poor thing just wanted someone to officially relieve it of duty. To let it go home and sit on the couch, eating nachos and watching reruns of the Great British Baking Show. Or whatever it is blogs do when they age out and go home.
But first... how about some answers to questions no one has asked?
What's Crabby been up to? Did she travel through some sort of wormhole to an alternative universe?
Nah, still very much in this universe, though the Lobster and I have been traveling quite a bit, trying to avoid our country's toxic little corner of it.
And I know, how horribly obnoxious of me, to mention recent travel adventures during such wrenching times. But both things are true: I am an asshole, and we had a blast doing spending the winter of 2018 in Spain, and this past winter in Mexico and South America. I will spare you the approximately 3,000 photos.
Well, maybe one, to prove I'm not just making shit up. Iguazu falls, definitely worth a visit.
Or okay, maybe one more photo, because though I may be 60 years old chronologically, I still have the maturity of an 11 year old:
Anyway, after hunkering down in various airbnb's for a few months, finally learning not to flush the toilet paper, we hopped aboard--you guessed it, a cruise ship. Might not have been the wisest move in a pandemic, you think?
In our defense, the virus hadn't hit South America when we departed, no one was cancelling anything yet, and they screened passengers to eliminate those who'd been to Italy or China, the only problem areas at the time.
But holy crap did we get lucky. As ports throught the world shut down, they extended our voyage and delivered us safely to Miami instead of Lima, Peru, as originally planned. Practically all the other cruise ships at sea during that time came back with contagion aboard, but somehow the trusty Azamara Pursuit was spared. Note to self: no more cruising during plagues!
Does Crabby Still Eat Healthy and Exercise?
Yeah, pretty much. Though there will always be Giant Beers and other strategically timed treats. I'm a little less obsessive than I used to be, but, I'm still basically doing the healthy living thing.
I've lost my unassisted pull-ups, alas, but I'm trying to hang on to a few other (totally arbitrary) benchmarks. For some reason I've decided that if I can still run 5 miles, do 20 'men's' push-ups, hold a plank for two minutes, and open the occasional stubborn pickle jar, then I'm hanging in there. I still enjoy cardio, if I've got tunes, and still hate weights with a loathing that defies description.
Is Crabby Doing Anything Productive These Days?
Absolutely not! The Lobster and I are enjoying retirement. Hers is well-deserved and mine is not.
I have some writing projects in the works, but who knows if they will ever come to fruition? And I'm still trying and failing to learn to speak Spanish. Deséenme suerte, voy a necesitarlo!
Any Final Words of Advice?
About health and fitness? Not really, I've said it all a million times before. Make smart choices about eating and exercise and lifestyle, expect to fail as often as you succeed, and keep going anyway. Take good care of yourself! You probably already know how. Just know you are an important enough person to be worth all the insane effort it takes in a society full of ridiculous obstacles, temptations and distractions.
Meanwhile, in addition to our own personal health, we are now faced with huge threats to our collective welfare. Our country is under seige, led by a malignant and maltempered infant beholden to an unholy alliance of racists and greedy unprincipled corporations. (Note: not ALL corporations are greedy and evil, many aren't! But our increasingly unfettered version of capitalism is leading to all kinds of horrendous abuses.)
As we've seen, those in power will do whatever they can, legal or illegal, to hang onto it. Including trying to suppress your vote.The majority of people in this country want things to change, but will that even make a difference? I've never seen anything this bad in my life, and I am now officially OLD so I get to be all hyperbolic about it!
It is not a time for complacency. Do whatever you can to bring back democracy and a healthy sane society, which at a minimum means vote.
Unless... you have been hiding from reality in a bubble of comforting lies brought to you by Fox News and your carefully cultivated social media feeds and are thinking of voting Republican. If this is you then please start doing some independent research. Listen to that little voice inside you that must be questioning why so often all the scientists, respected institutions, news sources, leaders, even military advisers, are saying one thing and Trump and/or Fox is saying something else. We are now the #1 laughingstock of the entire world, yay for so much winning!
Um, Crabby That Post Title...Do You Not Have Any Clue What the Word Penultimate Means?
Actually, yes I do! Many seem to think Penultimate means some sort of Super-Ultimate kind of Ultimate.
But no, penultimate just means second-to-last. Implying that at some point in the future, there will be one more post at Cranky Fitness, which I'm hoping will point you to somewhere you can find me writing again! Should you be masochistic enough to want to do that.
And Now I'd Like to Propose a Toast or Two or, Let's See... Four.
Here's to all the wonderful readers and contributers to this blog, now well-dispersed and unlikely to find their way back to be properly thanked, but always here in my heart!
Seriously, just being back here in this virtual space has made me tremendously nostalgic and grateful for the community I found here.
Here's to al the people out there who are actively fighting to save lives, address suffering, and make the world a better place!
Even small efforts should not go unsung, and many are now risking their own lives for their communities.
Here's to a quick end to this horrible pandemic and sensible behavior until that happens!
Despite the denial going on in so many quarters, coronavirus is still a thing, and will keep spreading and killing people. So let's contain and eliminate the little fucker already!
And finally, here's to a return to compassion, sanity, non-violence, tolerance and democracy.
We can make it happen. We have to make it happen.
So if anyone's still out there: how are you doing? Whatcha been up to the last couple years?
Bring it On 21 Dec 2017 8:54 AM (7 years ago)
By Crabby McSlacker
So it's Holiday Season!
But wait, where's Santa Claus? No Menorah? No sugar cookies or snowmen or pine trees? And what's with the spunky aviator gals in leather jackets, that's not very Christmassy!
Well, okay, traditionally the holidays are a time for festive celebrations, fun, frivolity, togetherness, and generosity. But also they're a time for year-end reflection. And my goodness, what a year 2017 has been!
What a year indeed.
So, setting aside any bright moments you may have enjoyed in your personal life this year (and I'm hoping there were many, many of them!)... does anyone else think that 2017 may have been the most toxic, noxious, depressing, abysmal, terrifying nightmare of a year we've ever experienced?
Note: I'm aware one could easily find this theme a mite downbeat for a holiday post. I haven't been posting much, and I know it's weird that I'm finally writing something and it turns out it's a political rant and not a handy list of Last-Minute Christmas Gifts for your Favorite Gym Rat, or, God forbid, yet another post on How Not to Screw Up Your New Years Resolutions.
But I gotta be honest: all I want for Christmas, and for 2018, is my fucking country back.
I know this sentiment is not universal. Maybe it's just me and my tribe who are grousing, a tribe I won't try to define precisely, but I'm guessing if you made it this far, there's a good chance you're one of us.
But Jesus. 2017. What a shitshow, right? We've been watching slack-jawed and horrified as a parade of catastrophes marched by, one after another. Hurricanes, floods, wildfires, mass shootings. Scandals, betrayals, malfeasance, assaults, corruption, double-dealing. Most horrifying of all has been the discovery, if you live in the United States of America, that our country was not the sane, compassionate, forward-thinking, innovative, tolerant, freedom-loving country we thought it was.
After decades of forward progress on all kinds of issues, all of a sudden we live in a world where devastating nuclear war, or the destruction of our planet due to irreversible climate change, seem not like remote possibilities, but more like actual, on-purpose strategies. Why? Who is this benefiting? It's insanity.
Who knew that we could plummet backwards in time so quickly to the dark ages? Now science is suspect, because people who believe in it tend to be "liberal." Superstition and ignorance and wishful thinking rule. Hypocrisy, persecution, bigotry, dishonesty and greed are the new normal, and we're all just supposed to take them for granted. People who investigate or report wrong-doing are being silenced or removed. News organizations that report stories reflecting badly on those in power are being threatened with some sort of yet-to-be-determined retribution, no doubt unconstitutional. But that whole "Constitution Rights" notion is old-school now, right? The Constitution is inconvenient when you want to discriminate on the basis of religion or race or gender. But, no worries. You can just appoint judges who will happily ignore it and you're good.
So what do we do? How on earth are we going to fix this in 2018?
We're going to fight back.
Bring. It. On.
And no, I don't have any solutions you haven't already thought of. It's just like with health and fitness: so often we know what needs to be done, it's just hard, and it takes a long time, and you have to keep doing it over and over and over even when successes are few and far between.
But we're going to take our country back. The stakes are too high. We're going to be all spunky and badass and fierce and we're going to stay outraged. We're not going to get bored with how hard it is and stop caring and give up and back down.
This is just a short and obvious list, I'm hoping some of you have better ideas that you might include in the comments.
- Register to vote and don't ever, ever miss an election.
- Register others to vote; volunteer with organizations that help get people to the polls.
- Encourage and thank people who are doing good work.
- Sign up for a weekly action checklist for Americans of Conscience or join Swing Left or other organizations already laying the groundwork for next November.
- Call and write your representatives. Over and over. Be a pain in the ass.
- Give money.
- Give more money.
- Keep the social media conversations going.
- Be polite and civil, but refuse to normalize bigotry and misinformation if you encounter it your social circle.
- Turn out for demonstrations or vigils that are meaningful to you.
- Support forward-thinking local candidates. Or think about running for office yourself!
- Help those in need in your area who will soon have nowhere to turn.
- Treat yourself gently and nourish yourself. Caring so much in the face of all this craziness is exhausting. Take time to love those around you, to find joy and light, to celebrate what is good and beautiful and worthwhile within your own community.
- Know that you are not alone, that most people in the U.S. and certainly in the world know how wrong all this is. Continue to have hope that we can't be silenced, that sanity will return.
Let's keep repeating: THIS IS NOT NORMAL.
Let's vow, we shall REFUSE TO STOP FIGHTING.
Let's all WORK TOGETHER TO FIX THIS COUNTRY OF OURS.
We can take our nation back. We have to.
And, um, Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays?
Peace on Earth and Love to You All!
Crabby
Live Longer, Stay Sharper: Now, With Substance Abuse! Er. Use. I mean Use. 31 Oct 2017 3:55 AM (7 years ago)
By Crabby McSlacker
This post is a classic example of Selective Reporting: You see some headlines you like, so you skip merrily over the exhaustive research and analysis you should be doing in order to decide whether they're even valid. So much more fun to simply embrace the results!
Welcome to Cranky Fitness. Perhaps you mistook this for a scholarly health resource?
Anyway, in the spirit of "sounds good to me"... How about a couple of studies saying that (1) drinking impressively large amounts of coffee every day may increase longevity and (2) drinking alcohol moderately, or even heavily, as long as it's not "excessively," may boost your chances of living to a ripe old age without cognitive decline?
Again, we are just looking at a few studies and ignoring for now whatever research there may about the downsides of these practices. But it's only fair, right? People who don't want to booze it up, or consume bucketloads of coffee, can find plenty of ammunition, pretty much everywhere, to feel smug about their lifestyle choices.
But those of us who do like to alter our brains with various chemicals, whether because it makes us feel happier, or more alert, or more gregarious, or less likely to collapse into a paralyzing puddle of depression because somehow we've come to live in a country governed by a belligerent orangutan... some of us might appreciate a little positive news for once.
Coffee! More Coffee! And Maybe a Little More Coffee?
Two different studies showed a reduced risk of death for coffee drinkers. And the interesting thing? The results were dose dependent. You got it: More coffee, less death.
Yep, the people who drank 3-4 or more cups of coffee a day did substantially less dying than people who drank less, and the group who did the most dying were the non-coffee drinkers.
But what about decaf? Can you drink that in large quantities too?
Yep, one of the studies also included decaf drinkers, who did the same dose-dependent less-dying thing too. (Though there wasn't as much data collected on them so there was a little hemming and hawing about it.)
Alcohol, Longevity, and Brain Health?
A nearly 30-year study of alcohol and cognitive functioning found that those drinking “moderate to heavy” amounts of alcohol five to seven days a week were much more likely to make it to 85 without cognitive impairment than non-drinkers. I couldn't get through the paywall for all the details, but the study abstract is here.
More specifically: Relative to nondrinkers, moderate and heavy drinkers had significantly higher odds of survival to age 85 without cognitive impairment, and near-daily drinkers had 2-3 times the odds of living to at least age 85 without cognitive impairment.
But wait, what's the limit between "Moderate or Heavy" and "Excessive?"
It's a bigger number than we're used to seeing: Up to 3 drinks/day for women and for men 65 years and older, up to 4 drinks/day for men under 65 years.
Cranky Fitness is NOT advocating you run out and start pounding down 3 drinks a day. I've never seen a figure this high before, and have no desire to get sued.
And whenever you've been drinking, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR CAR. That's why they invented Lyft and Uber and taxicabs. Well, there may have been other reasons, but seriously, there is no excuse for endangering other peoples lives by getting behind the wheel if you're even a little bit impaired.
Oh, and another thing: Another brain-altering substance that also boasts some health benefits is marijuana! But I just blogged about recreational marijuana as part of a healthy lifestyle not that long ago, so I'll spare you the repetition.
So how about you guys, have any of you seen any recent headlines, health-related or not, that offered you some good news for once?