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The Gifts of Sobriety: 500 Days and Counting 18 Nov 2020 10:59 AM (4 years ago)

There has never been anything in my life that I couldn’t set my mind to, work hard and accomplish all by myself.

Well, except this one really big thing: DRINKING.

Asking for help was truly one of the most brutally challenging and humbling experiences of my life. But it was also the wisest.

It is a decision I made 500 days ago today.

As of this very moment, I am 500 days sober. I have gone without my previously beloved Chardonnay, Champagne, Rose, Sauvignon Blanc and Pinot Noir for a period of time that used to seem, quite simply, impossible. Before I made the decision to get the help I so desperately needed (through for months and months had REFUSED to admit), I struggled to go a week without drinking….so thinking about making it thirty felt like asking me to grown wings. But then I did it. And then six months and a year have passed. 

Addiction: How it happened

Have you ever been riding a bike, rollerskating, skateboarding or skiing down a big hill – at first you feel nothing but exhilaration – you are enjoying the moment and feel completely in control. But suddenly, you pick up speed, your heart begins to race as you realize there is something bigger than you at play – you feel powerless to control your next move….left? right? stop? Sometimes, you make the correct move and land safely. And sometimes, you are stopped hard at the bottom of the hill.

This is what my addiction to alcohol – wine specifically – felt like for me. Sometimes I landed safely. Until I didn’t.

I moved through my 20’s and 30’s as a ‘social drinker’. I would have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and stop. I wouldn’t even think about it. I drank ‘only on the weekends’. The phrase, ‘it’s 5 o’clock somewhere’ was reserved ENTIRELY for vacation (never a Tuesday at noon). I might pour myself a glass of wine while making dinner and not even finish it (something the alcoholic in me can no longer comprehend).

As I aged, it seemed the world around me began to normalize alcohol as part of ‘fun’ and ‘everyday life’ more and more. It was ‘normal’ to have a wine lunch. Normal to drink on the sidelines at kids’ sporting events – normal for it to be SERVED and SOLD at kids’ sporting events. Normal for moms to ‘joke’ about their athletes accidentally grabbing the water bottle filled with Vodka instead of water. Normal for school events and mom’s groups to include wine or mimosas or to be planned around happy hour. Normal to wear shirts that said, “I’m only here for the Champagne” and hang signs in my office that said, “Hustle from Coffee to Champagne”. 

But sometime in my early 40’s, I tipped. Hard. And fast. Trauma, PTSD, anger, depression, deep sadness and a little bit of life felt like too much.

‘Wine helps’, they said. 

‘Wine helps’, I agreed. It soothes. It numbs. It eases my tension. I told myself I earned it, I deserved it, wine was self care.

Sadly, these are all lies we have been socialized to believe….lies we tell ourselves when we are flying down that hill with no way to stop on our own.

Wine (alcohol) is not self care. A bubble bath, a call with a friend, a massage, exercise, meditation, time by yourself to do the things you love, setting boundaries – THESE are self care. 

I didn’t want to think I had a problem.

 

I just couldn’t be an ‘alcoholic’. Alcoholism ran in my family. I knew better. Alcoholics HAVE to drink everyday. And in the morning. They shake from withdrawals. They show up at work drunk. They are homeless. They are willing to drink ANYTHING just to get alcohol in their system.

I was none of these.

But also….

They lie. They blackout. They feel a compulsion to drink that consumes their thoughts. They isolate. They sometimes wish they could just disappear. They hide when they drink – in the bathroom, in closets – anywhere. They constantly wake up telling themselves they won’t ‘do that again’. But then convince themselves they can control it – this time.

I was ALL of these.

One morning I found myself locked in the bathroom of my home, drinking warm leftover wine from the night before – out of a red plastic cup….I was drinking it so fast – JUST to get it in my system so I could FEEL IT and then NOT FEEL AT ALL, that I gagged. I was standing at the sink and watched myself in the mirror as I gagged. WHO THE HELL AM I? WHAT HAVE I BECOME? I collapsed and sobbed. 

Wine used to be a luxury….only served in a beautiful glass. A treat, an accent to a meal. And yet, it had become a way to disappear. I disliked myself so intensely, that each day, I was desperate to NUMB this girl I’d grown to hate.

But friends, I didn’t stop. Not yet. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I could’t. Addiction isn’t about self will or being ‘strong enough’ to just stop. It’s about having a moment – and for all of us it is different – a moment that allows the light to seep in, for hope to grow and foster the willingness to ask for help.

500 days ago, I did just that.

The Gifts of Sobriety

That girl I hated? I kind of like her now. She has the light back in her eyes and in her heart. As the cracks widened and hope grew, I have continued to live one day at a time – confident that this journey happened for me, not to me. I am open to constantly learning and recognizing there are parts of me I’m just getting to know.

I am a good mother. When I walked into treatment, my relationship with my extraordinary children was tenuous….because I had made it so. They mother they had known when they were little had faded behind the fog of addiction. She wasn’t trustworthy or reliable. But I am now. And the relationship I have with both of them is a treasure that I could’t have dreamed when I finally surrendered and admitted I couldn’t save myself. As I have re-anchored to the woman and mother I knew I could be, they have been more kind, forgiving and understanding than I likely deserve. I was reminded in treatment that I was not a ‘bad mom’, but rather a ‘good mom who had made bad decisions’….now I can feel the ‘good mom’ part again.

My senses have returned. While drinking, my goal was to numb the pain and anguish, but in doing so, I was also numbing my ability to truly see and experience the world around me and to remember.  Each season is more beautiful than the last because I feel it, each day is an adventure because I am here to absorb it for all of its crazy and frustration and amazing. Have the sound of wind chimes always been so delightful? Has the sky always been so blue and the sun on my skin felt so warm? Has loving a puppy ever been so consuming?

Laughter is real. I was so incredibly worried I would stop being fun, that the ‘sparkle’ in me would disappear like the bubbles in a flat glass of champagne. But on the contrary, I have found that my laugh is louder and comes from a place deep inside. My eyes are bright – because my soul is no longer clouded by the pain of hiding who I am and constantly worrying that I don’t belong.

Experience to share. I will always deeply regret hurting my children, but do firmly believe I am where I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be an example for them, someone who doesn’t drink again and is able to share how this experience impacted my world and my kids. I told my kids…..whether they are 18, 27, 42 or 65….if ever they think to themselves, “I wonder if I am drinking to much….I wonder if I have a problem…” – the ANSWER IS YES. This DOES NOT mean you are an alcoholic or that you need treatment. It DOES mean that your gut is warning you that you are on a dangerous path and that you need to make a change. I will always wonder what would have happened if I had heeded that warning – if I had made changes when I first googled, “why can’t I stop drinking?” years before I was regularly blacking out, lying to my kids and drinking most days. But, I do know, this is where I am supposed to be now.

How can I help? It’s a question I ask multiple times a day. I no longer try to fix everything, but seek to be of maximum service. I have added ‘substance abuse counselor’ to my resume and am gratefully working with people just like me a few times a week. 

I’m not graduating. When I left treatment 470 days ago, I wasn’t sure if I would ever ‘try’ to drink again. Maybe a glass of wine or champagne in a few years? I have since come to the realization that, for me, this journey is a permanent one. I’m not going to ‘be healed’ at some point and start over.

I’m a better version of me, a more self-aware, patient, kinder and hopeful human being living alcohol-free.

As always, friends – I am here if I can support you or anyone you love, in any way. 

THANK YOU, for the gift of your love, friendship and support as I continue to walk this path and keep my head up as I wander into the next 500 days. 

xoxoxo Danielle

The post The Gifts of Sobriety: 500 Days and Counting appeared first on Pretty Extraordinary.

How to Decorate Inside Your Home for Fall 28 Oct 2020 2:03 PM (4 years ago)

Is it *finally* starting to feel like Fall in your part of the country? We have finally tipped. In the MidWest, it isn’t uncommon to have a series of days that jump between 80 degrees and 40 and then back to 75. The crazy happens when the temperature fluctuates 30 40 degrees in a matter of six hours. The temperatures are just starting to wake us in the 50’s….though we are still many days still creep higher. But that doesn’t mean we can’t embrace the season.

Fall is a beautiful season. With all of the natural foliage, pumpkins, and seasonal flowers, it is a favorite among people who love decorating both inside and out. Are you looking for new and creative ways to include the season in your home décor? Here are some ideas to get you started and push your home in to a prime Fall state.

How to Decorate Inside Your Home for Fall

Create a Beautiful Fall Centerpiece

There are so many different types of centerpieces you can create for the fall season. One of the easiest centerpiece ideas is to get a wicker basket. Fill it with small pumpkins (or artificial pumpkins), artificial fall leaves, and/or Indian corn. It won’t take a lot of work and will make for a colorful fall centerpiece. If you are feeling extra crafty, consider painting your own pumpkins.

Another idea is to create an autumn centerpiece with candles. Although you might choose orange, red or yellow candles, white will also work. You can tie some artificial fall leaves to the candle or arrange them around the candles. You might also incorporate small pumpkins, gourds or pine cones into your fall centerpiece.

Frame Some Fall Leaves for Easy Fall Leaf Wall Décor

Are you looking for a way to break up your wall space? Collect several fall leaves or purchase artificial fall leaves in varying colors. Glue the leaves to white construction paper. Be sure to make each one different. For example, glue only one large leaf on one piece of paper and then glue several fall leaves to one of the others. Frame your leaves and hang them on your wall. You could place them on a wall shelf and add candles, or other fall décor below them.

Decorate Your Railing with Sunflowers

Although often forgotten, sunflowers can play a key role in autumn home décor! One great ways to showcase them inside your home is to decorate your staircase railing with them. You can buy silk sunflowers online in bunches, you can buy them individually or from any craft store. Consider combining them with some artificial fall leaves and white Christmas lights for a beautiful display on your railing.

Pile Up Some Pumpkins

Do you have an entryway or table that could use a little pop of fall color? Get a few pumpkins in varying sizes and colors. Even white pumpkins will work for this. You might pile them on the floor or pile them in a small wagon. You could also create a pile of pumpkins on a table that could use some décor.

Get Creative with Mason Jars

Are you looking to repurpose some of your old mason jars? There are plenty of ways you can incorporate them into your fall home décor. For example, you might consider decorating your mason jar with artificial fall leaves. Put a candle inside for a beautiful fall candleholder.

Another option is to decorate your mason jar with construction paper. Cut out the shape of fall leaves so that you’ll be able to see through the leaf-shaped cutouts. You might also consider using these as candle holders.

Make an Indoor Fall Wreath

Although you may have considered creating a wreath for your front door, wreathes can make for pretty interior home décor as well. You may be able to buy a fall wreath, but a DIY fall wreath is so easy. Simply cut some cardboard into a circular shape. Glue on some artificial fall leaves. You might consider adding other fall objects, such as acorns or pinecones to the decor. You can also use autumn themed or fall colored ribbon to give it a little extra pop of color.

For some additional inspiration, take a look at our Fall Pinterest Board.

No matter how large or small your budget is, there are plenty of great ways to capture the beauty of the autumn season in your home décor.

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DIY Chalk Painted Pumpkins For Fall 5 Oct 2020 1:31 PM (4 years ago)

Are you one of those people who have been simply DYING for Fall to arrive? I realize it is a favorite for many of you (if I’m honest, I can’t help but think that Winter is following to closely, but I digress). If I’m just focusing on the moment, I can see there just something about the colors, the crisp air, the warmth from a bowl of soup and chunky sweaters.  I also love to decorate my home for the season.  With some inexpensive items such as fall colored flowers, pumpkins and leaves, you can have a home that is beautiful and season ready.

One of this season’s trends is painted pumpkins. I’ve seen them at craft fairs and stores and I just love them. But, I don’t love the prices.  So, I decided to paint my own.  Yes, these simple DIY Painted Pumpkins can be yours for close to nothing. Well, besides your pumpkins and paint cost. And if you’re like me and have some paint on hand, you can do it for only the cost of your pumpkins.

I’m partial to Retique It Chalk Furniture Paint, but if there is one you already love, absolutely stick with it. You can paint practically anything with ease and without prep, and the colors are gorgeous.  Easy = a project I am all for!  So, for these painted pumpkin, I picked a few of my favorite colors and got to work.

I used Antique White, Dove Grey, and Robin’s Egg for my pumpkins. The colors coordinate with my kitchen.  And since I knew I wanted these pumpkins as a centerpiece, it was a perfect choice.  I used a cheap foam brush that you can get at any craft store and I just painted the chalk paint right on my pumpkins. I let it dry for about 20 minutes and applied a 2nd coat for a little more coverage. Perfect!

I know it’s hard to believe – but that’s it! Just paint on, let dry and display.

Use your pumpkins in a table centerpiece with flowers for a beautiful display. I have a tray in the middle of my table that I change out often for whatever strikes my mood. Or place them around the house for little pops of color and Fall fun. Wherever you decide to place them, they are sure to be a hit.

Because we know you love Fall around here, be sure to check out this favorite delicious soup recipe, some pumpkin desserts you will love, the best ways to decorate your home for the season, our Fall Capsule wardrobe for all the basics you need and of course, our favorites gathered on our Fall Pinterest board.

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20 Delicious Halloween Monster Foods Your Family Will Love 5 Oct 2020 10:36 AM (4 years ago)

How much do you love Halloween? The decorating, the dressing up…the excitement of your kiddos?

We always have so much fun at my house (even though, I’m often admittedly a last minute one – with both the decorating and helping my small people to find the perfect costumes.) but as they get older, they don’t rely on me quite as much as they once did.

Even so, I still love to plan ways to surprise them with treats  – especially Halloween Monster Foods! It shouldn’t ALL be about the candy they collect, right?

With that in mind, (and especially since get-togethers are likely not going to be happening as they once have) here is a collection of monster foods your people are sure to love. (the caramel apples, the oreo truffles, the Halloween brownies and the monster mash popcorn are amazing!)

 

20 Delicious Halloween Monster Foods Your Kids Family Will Love

Monster Mash Soup – Peas and Crayons

Monster Cake Pops – Homemade Hooplah

Monster Bark – Lil Luna

Monster Marshmallows – Finding Zest

Monster Cupcakes – I Heart Naptime

Monster Slime Cookies – Kids Craft Room

Monster Eyeball Pretzels – Princess Pinky Girl

Doughnut Hole Monster Eyeballs – Sugar Hero

Monster Oreo Truffles – Chelsea’s Messy Apron

Monster Munch – Julie’s Eats and Treats

Avocado Monster Eggs – Living Sweet Moments

Monster Dirt Cups – Crazy For Crust

Monster Eye Pudding Cups – Homemade Hooplah

Gooey Monster Eye Cookies – Lil Luna

Monster Eye Balls Rice Krispie Bites – Two Sisters Crafting

Monster Teeth – A Spicy Perspective

Swamp Monster Giant Chocolate Buttons – Eats Amazing

Monster Mash Popconr – Cooking With Curls

Monster Caramel Apples – Your Homebased Mom

Fuzzy Monster Pops – The Decorated Cookie

Monster Mash Halloween Brownies – Buy This Cook That

Monster Rice Krispies Treats – Chelsea’s Messy Apron

Peanut Butter Monsters – Inside Bru Crew Life

Monster Fruit Cups – A Thrifty Mom

And if you are thinking to yourself….what about the adults? Not to worry – I have some great spooky adult drink concoctions that are fun to make AND enjoy. 

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Breathe Like a Yogi: Tips for Learning to Meditate 1 May 2020 10:28 AM (4 years ago)

Unbelievable. How many times have you heard someone say, “This is unbelievable!!”…. For me, every time before this current global pandemic feels like hyperbole in comparison. It’s as though we are living amidst a Hollywood movie plot that has too many far-fetched plot twists to feel like real life.

And yet – here we are. Confined to our homes. Uncertain about the future of basic living, like going to a restaurant, a movie theater, a baseball game…..visiting loved ones in the hospital, attending graduations, weddings and funerals.

As life becomes more and more surreal, I have become more and more enticed by the need to feel centered – to feel as though I am tethered to SOMETHING. Enter the beauty of meditation….a practice that had always called to me in spurts, but now feels like a necessity. I would love to share this little bit of inner peace with you in the form of a few tips for learning to meditate.

The challenge, as always, is to initially make the time in your schedule to give yourself this space and room to breathe. Though I can’t claim to be an expert at juggling any schedule, I’m certainly a prime candidate for needing to create this physical and mental space.  Work, home and family life can easily clutter your mind, leaving you feeling as though a weight has settled in permanently on the center of your chest….especially now that we are doing it all from home and many of us are on top of each other AND nervous about the future.

Let’s start by simply starting….one foot in front of the other. Seek out 15-20 minutes of quiet in your day. One of the most beautiful ways to lift the weight we are feeling is by mastering meditation  – Let’s begin like this:

Breathe Like a Yogi: Tips for Learning to Meditate

Dedicate Time – Whether you choose to get up a half hour before your family rises in the morning, you carve out a slice of time in the middle of your day, or you wait for the calm that settles in after your family has gone to bed – promise yourself a specific time and stick to it.

Choose a Quiet Space – Find a place in your home where you can be breathe in peace – without the distraction of the dog, your children calling to you, your email dinging or someone needing your attention.  This space is for you and quiet.

Turn Off Your Devices – As hard as it may be, turn off your phone, your iPad, the TV and your music.  Don’t keep your phone near by ‘just in case’.  The world can live without you for this short period of time.

Sit Tall – While you don’t need to sit in a traditional ‘yoga’ pose – with your ankles on your knees – you do need to sit up straight to maximize your breathing.  This isn’t nap time – you are focused and breathing. I know you may be tempted by exhaustion, but I want to repeat – no napping.

Focus on Your Breathing 

– Ahhh yes. Focus. on. your. breathing.  If it helps, include a favorite scent in the room  – for me, this is lavender. This isn’t heavy breathing – this is your normal breathing – in and out through your nose.  It will be easy for other thoughts to enter your mind, but each time they do, allow it to happen, gently picture pushing them to the side and return to the calm in-and-out of your breathing until most thoughts have left your mind.  This will take time and practice. If you need, find a phrase that brings you peace and say it over as you rely on your breathing to bring you calm.

Enjoy the Benefits – Your goal is a clearer mind.  Your goal is mental peace.  When you have mastered the ability to focus on your breathing, you will find meditation becomes something you WANT to do to secure that sense of inner contentment… just one of the reasons you should meditate every day.

Repeat daily so that you can to see the most change happening in your peace of mind, ability to focus and overall relaxation.

 

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Best Beauty Products for a Spring Glow 20 Apr 2020 7:20 AM (4 years ago)

Raise your hand if you have been counting down the days until Spring officially arrived? My hand is firmly in the air. I know the calendar SAYS Spring, but Mother Nature can’t quite seem to make up her mind. We are still flirting with 70’s one day and waking up in the 40’s the next. While we wait, (impatiently) to fully embrace the warm weather, let’s talk beauty products.

Glowing skin is always in, right? But when it comes to spring and summer beauty, having a natural radiance is even more of a must. So are you ready to get glowing? These beauty products will help you achieve a spring glow in no time flat.

Vitamin C Serum | Rose Face Mask | Sunless Tan Serum | BECCA Highlighter | Laura Mercier Primer | Charlotte Tilbury Primer | Burberry Highlighter | The Cure Exfoliator | GLAMGLOW Mask | IT Cosmetics Concealer | Baked Blush | Rose Water Spray

First of all, I must mention that you can never underestimate the power of staying hydrated and eating healthy. Work to get those eight glasses of water in and eat your fruits and veggies. One of the best ways to get a glow is from the inside out. But these beauty products will certainly help you along your way.

Skincare

One of the best things you can do for your skin is to regularly exfoliate and follow up with a skincare regimen. This exfoliator is my all-time favorite because it’s so gentle but it absolutely gets the job done. If you’re not a fan of how rough sugar and apricot scrubs can be, you simply must try The Cure.

Next, it’s all about hydration. This Vitamin C serum is a must-try. It’s a blend that also contains Vitamin E and hyaluronic acid, which helps with hydration, evens skin tone, and brightens skin. Plus it’s super-affordable. Follow it up with your favorite skin cream.

Another skincare must is a good mask. I have long been a fan of GLAMGLOW, and for brightening dull skin, this one is perfect. I also recommend this rose face mask. It is the most hydrating mask I’ve ever used. It’s definitely on the pricey side, but I always see instant results after using it.

If you want a little sunless bronze, this tan serum comes highly recommended. What I love about it is that it gradually tans your skin. No oompa-loompa situations with this one.

And lastly, this rose water spray is so refreshing. You can use it after your skincare routine or as a making setting spray for extra hydration. I typically use it after my makeup for a dewy finish.

Makeup

After your skin is quenched, makeup can be a great way to further your glow even more! I always start with a radiant primer. This Charlotte Tilbury one is excellent but pricey. For a more affordable option that I still really like, try this one instead by Laura Mercier. Both create a beautiful glow-y base for your foundation.

If you suffer from dark circles, I’m sure you’re no stranger to concealer. I’ve tried quite a few in my day, but nothing combats darkness while adding glow like this radiant concealer. If you want a more matte option, IT Cosmetics also makes one of those. But we’re all about the glow here, right?

Blush is a must if you ask me. It adds a little color and warmth to your face. Although I stay away from glittery ones, the shimmer on this drugstore option is just enough. It’s a great universally flattering shade.

And lastly, we have to touch on highlighters, right? I don’t like a super-obvious shine, so my picks are on the more subtle side. For the most natural glow, I always reach for this Burberry one. But I also have this one from BECCA that is a cult favorite. A little goes a long way. I dust them on my nose, cheekbones, and cupids bow.

What did I miss? What are your favorite beauty products to achieve a spring glow?

Disclosure: Affiliate links included in this post.

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Cute Easter Egg Filler Ideas for Toddlers 31 Mar 2020 8:04 AM (5 years ago)

When did candy and Easter become synonymous? I was never against my littles one having a few pieces in their baskets, but I didn’t love the thought of filling them up on chocolates and candy (never mind that I could eat my body weight in StarBurst Jelly Beans if left alone). Between treats in their baskets, the trail the Easter Bunny leaves outside their door and treats stuffed in Easter eggs, they certainly add up. So, if you’re on the hunt for a few alternatives, or are cutting out the candy all together, then today’s post is for you. You can go sweets-free with these non-candy Easter Egg filler ideas for toddlers. Of course, not all of these ideas will work for toddlers of all ages. You might have to adjust for littler ones, but they are a great place to start.

And now that we are all home and doing our shopping online – these are all easy to find and order.

Snacks

Going candy-free, doesn’t mean food-free, right? I love the idea of adding a few snacks in the Easter eggs. For the healthiest options, try fruit like strawberries, blueberries, or grapes. But if you’re actually hiding the eggs, you might want items that won’t get moldy if they’re forgotten or lost.)

• fruit
• goldfish crackers (or go theme-y with Annie’s cheddar bunnies)
• pretzels
• Cherrios
• Teddy Grahams (or Annie’s Bunny Grahams)
• Popcorn

Accessories

What I love about the idea of accessories is that they might actually get a little more use than a small toy. From mini barrettes for little girls to fun, funky socks, there are lots of fun options. Be sure to check the dollar area at Target (hey had the cutest spring socks there earlier this week) or the dollar store. I came up with more girl-related items for this category, but if you have any more suggestions, I’d love to hear them in the comments.

• hair clips (These are so cute!)
• small hair bows
• plastic toy rings (like these!)
• play bracelets (these are unisex!)
• socks
• beaded necklaces (think Mardi Gras style in spring-y colors)

TOYS

The options for small toys seem endless. For these, I’d definitely recommend the dollar store or dollar area at Target again. Amazon is also another great option. You can often find mini packs of toys similar to what you might see in a party favor goodie bag.

• small puzzle pieces (You could put all of them together in a larger egg, or put one puzzle piece into each egg)
• finger puppets (We own these and love them)
• small self-inking stamps (Here’s a great Easter-themed option)
• mini slinky
• stickers
• mini cars (this set is adorable)
• legos
• temporary tattoos (These are cute Easter ones)

I’d love to hear more suggestions if you have them. Leave them in the comments for me. And if you are looking for a treat they will LOVE: Rice Krispie Surprise Easter Eggs.

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DIY Spring Pillows You Can Make 24 Mar 2020 11:52 AM (5 years ago)

As the weather is FINALLY thinking about warming up, I’m starting to realize my home decor could use a little refresh. Celebrating spring is something I’ve always looked forward to and this year I’m going to start by crafting a pretty spring pillow (or two)…..especially since we all have a little extra time on our hands at home. (You ARE staying home, right? Pretty please say you are!) 

I have some gorgeous DIY spring pillows to show you today and hopefully, these amazing projects will give you the needed inspiration to make your own. You don’t even need to have sewing skills since my selection includes plenty of easy, no-sew options that lead to gorgeous results with very little effort. (Trust me when I tell you – my sewing – and even DIY skills – are suspect.) If I can do it, YOU can do it.

DIY Spring Pillows You Can Make

Have you ever made your own pillows and are you still using them?

1. Simple And Sweet Wonderland Spring Pillow from flamingotoes.com
2. No Sew Burlap Flower Pillow DIY from stonegableblog.com
3. DIY Drapes, Pillow Cover And Throw Blanket from thediymommy.com
4. No-Sew Envelope Pillows Made From Napkins from sugarandcloth.com
5. No Sew Bunny Tail Pillow Cover For Easter from hymnsandverses.com
6. DIY No Sew Pillow For Spring from amomstake.com
7. Fashion Paint Custom Pillow Cover from blog.consumercrafts.com
8. Create Vibrant Floral Photo Pillows from abeautifulmess.com
9. DIY Envelope Pillows Tutorial from thehappyhousie.porch.com
10. Upcycled Throw Pillow from sustainmycrafthabit.com
11. Personalized Pillow With Initials from diycandy.com
12. DIY Brushstroke Cushion Covers from lanaredstudio.com
13. DIY Two Toned Pillow Case from farmfreshtherapy.com
14. DIY Watercolor Ink Blot Pillows from akailochiclife.com
15. DIY No-Sew Cat Pillow from idlehandsawake.com
16. Fabric Painted Cushion Ideas from deliciousanddiy.com
17. Anthropologie-Inspired Kilim Pillow from lindseycrafterblog.com
18. DIY Pink Shibori Pillow from thecraftedlife.com
19. How To Sew A Zipper Pillow from hawthorneandmain.com
20. DIY Vintage Tea Towel Throw Pillow from mysocalledcraftylife.com

Do you have a favorite? Better yet, do you think you can do it? For the longest time I was positive I couldn’t, but these tutorials walked me through 🙂 My favorites include #4 and #6 – both require NO SEWING. And if you are thinking you need to declutter rather than  create – we have that covered 🙂

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One Small Change: A Healthy Resolution You Can Make and Keep 8 Feb 2020 8:45 AM (5 years ago)

This conversation is sponsored by Align Probiotics at Sam’s Club. Opinions are my own.  

Raise your hand if you made a resolution at the beginning of the year.

I get it.

You thought about it. Saving money. Healthier eating. Exercise. Getting organized.

But only about 40% of us actually committed to a change. (are you one of them….or should I say us?)

I admit – I am a resolution kind of girl. But, I give myself a little extra time and space to create that change. With a January birthday (the 21st – high five to all of my Aquarius friends), I set my birthday as my official ‘new year’ and my time to flip the calendar and make changes.

Now, if you did make a resolution this year, how are you doing? Typically, only about 40% of us are still hanging strong at six months – and yet, most often, our resolutions are geared towards taking care of ourselves in some way, whether that is making time for the gym, cutting calories or certain foods, or just making overall healthier food choices.

That says something, doesn’t it. We have a need….not just to look better, but to FEEL better. And I think the best way to tackle that is with baby steps. I know that every single time I have planned to change ALL THE THINGS at the same time, (exercising five days a week, eliminating sugar, cutting calories, getting more sleep, etc.) it is, quite simply, a recipe for failure.

But, you know what DOES work, what DOES give me the motivation to keep going? Baby steps that allow me to feel better. A happier and healthier version of me is naturally more motivated to keep going, right?

Friends, let me make this easy for you.

One small change can up your self-care game and help you feel better from the inside out. And it only takes seconds a day.

Align Probiotics naturally help maintain digestive balance*. This #1 Doctor recommended probiotic^‡ helps to fortify your digestive system with healthy bacteria. ^* Why take a probiotic? Aside from the balance to your system on an average day, common issues like diet, a basic change in your regular routine, stress from home or work, or even travel may put a glitch in the natural balance of good bacteria.

Align is the digestive support you need for just that. And it can help with occasional abdominal discomfort*. Even better – it is gluten free, soy free, vegetarian and doesn’t require any refrigeration.

It’s simple to take Align once a day. It can be taken any time – with or without food. (See? One small change that takes only seconds to make.)

When you buy from Sam’s Club as I do, there is an even greater benefit of this 12-week pack of probiotics – an instant savings of $11 now until February 23rd. Visit a Sam’s Club near you or shop online to purchase Align Probiotics (with free shipping!) to start making your one small change can help you feel better from the inside out.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

^‡Among Doctors who recommended a brand of probiotic in a ProVoice 2008-2018 survey.

 

 

The post One Small Change: A Healthy Resolution You Can Make and Keep appeared first on Pretty Extraordinary.

My Name is Danielle – Vulnerability and My Battle with Alcoholism 8 Jan 2020 3:36 PM (5 years ago)

Sometimes I sit down to write and my typing fingers can barely keep up with my brain.

That is not quite the case this time, however. This time, my stomach is a ball of nerves, my fingers are a bit shaky and it feels a little as though I’m turning my soul inside out with each word I type. 

I’d say that’s hyperbolic, but in many ways it isn’t, as what I’m preparing to share are things I lied to myself about for a long time, so maybe you can imagine that sharing them with you – like this – is vulnerable in a way I haven’t ever been before. Because friends, I’m here to tell you, when you become skilled at lying to yourself each day….when you can look at yourself in the mirror – wide-eyed and serious and calmly convince YOU that you don’t have a problem, exposing yourself to the world like this feels like turning yourself inside out.

I’ve been struggling with how to phrase it, how to explain it, how to softly put my truth out there in the world. But, honestly, it isn’t soft or kind, though it also isn’t easy to explain….which is why it took me years to get here.

I have a problem with alcohol.

A big one.

Today is a milestone that may seem small to some, but is HUGE to me. I am officially six months sober. I have not had a drink in 185 days. Or 4440 hours. How do I know the days and hours? Because I have earned every damn one of them.

While some people do struggle with the label, ‘alcoholic’, I don’t – it is how I identify myself. 

My name is Danielle, and I’m an extremely grateful Alcoholic. One with six months of sobriety. And counting.

And that label – and all that we, as a society, often incorrectly associate with it, is, in fact, one of the primary reasons I could look in the mirror each and every day and say, I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.

I was not homeless. I did not need to drink at 7am. I did not carry a bottle in a brown paper sack around. I never had a DUI. I did not get fired for showing up to work drunk or failing to work. I could go days (at least in the beginning of my disease) without drinking.

My problem is NOT that I couldn’t NOT drink….my problem is that once I start, I DO NOT STOP.

In many ways, I was a ‘high-functioning alcoholic’. Some of you many have seen me have too much on occasion. But that would have been just a fraction of what I was doing, how I was living.

I wasn’t always this way. In fact, I come from an alcoholic family – so I was positive….in fact, I was DETERMINED, alcoholism was not my destiny. Yet another reason for living the past few years in denial.

I made it through my 30’s as a ‘normal drinker’……someone who could have a glass or two of wine on the weekend and stop. But in my early 40’s – it all changed. It was gradual at first.

I was a trauma drinker. I drank to numb how I felt, to avoid hurt and pain. “Oh my god, I just need a glass of wine to deal with this….” Words that began to fall from my lips more and more frequently as life piled on. The walks from my office to the wine fridge became more frequent. The pours more generous. That ‘one glass’ was actually two – but I only poured one, so that is what counted, yes? The lies we tell ourselves….

As my family began to notice that I rarely had a meal without two and then three glasses of wine – and they tried to gently bring it to my attention, my defensiveness kicked in: I AM AN ADULT. (In the spirit of honesty, my self talk was actually, “I am a GOD-DAMNED ADULT, I HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO HAVE WINE IF I PLEASE…) But, I also didn’t want to be judged, so I started to hide it. 

Word to the wise, when you hide your drinking, you are guaranteed to drink more. I promise. You are living a scarcity mentality. Since you are constantly afraid someone is going to catch you or take it away from you, you pour more in your glass, drink more (quantity), drink more (frequency), and drink before events so that it doesn’t appear that you are ordering more than everyone else. You start to pay more attention to how much you are drinking vs. everyone else around you. Your thoughts turn to alcohol more and more often.

I am also a blackout drinker. At first, it happened once or twice – but nearing the time I finally stopped, it was happening more often than it wasn’t. The scariest thing about the blackout? It isn’t like passing out. I don’t fall asleep – I lose time. For the most part, I continue to function as normal – carry on conversations, get on and off airplanes, order ubers, pay tabs, go to bed, put on my pjs. I just don’t remember any of it. I wake up – typically between 3-3:30am in a panic – trying to put the impossible pieces of time back together.  If you’re a normal drinker – this sounds horrifying. Don’t misunderstand. IT IS. You’re probably wondering why I didn’t stop drinking after the very first time it happened. I wish I knew. If you have a problem with alcohol, in additional to sounding frightening, this may also sound…..familiar.

Your thought process is compulsive. Drinking is no longer something you do to socialize, it is how you cope with every day, every situation and every emotion – pain, sadness, anger.

It became an obsession. 

I was no longer me. 

There were signs along the way. That time I Googled, “why can’t I stop…..” and drinking was the first word to pop up…. For a moment, I felt a little bit less alone, knowing other people, many other people, had the very same question. I wish I’d seen that for the sign it was. If I’m thinking I might have a problem, I probably do. Normal drinkers don’t ever think about it. 

I started buying wine from different grocery stores because I didn’t want them to notice how much I was buying (as if they actually notice or care). I bought only screw top bottles – easier to open and open quickly so my family might not hear. I moved to cheaper wine and started drinking out of any kind of glass or cup to hide what was inside. And finally, I moved to tiny bottles – YUCK – because they were easier to hide.

I am not a bad person or a bad mom…..I was a good person, a good mom, a wounded and hurting person who was making bad decisions. I was lying to my family and they knew it. I was disappointing my kids and it was breaking my heart.

This – this battle with alcohol – this addiction to wine – to numbing and avoiding who I was, how I felt, to hiding in my own skin – it was eating me alive and ruining my chances of being the person I had always believed I could be.

In early July, I woke in the 3am hour as I always did – disoriented, filled with guilt, and once again positive I had been a disappointment. My promise not to drink was one I had broken. Again. I could feel my will to fight, to lie, to ANYTHING slip away…. Jeff suggested a treatment center in Florida that fit what he knew I needed – a place that wouldn’t cut me off from the world, prevent me from keeping in touch with Delaney and Cooper, while at the same time treating my mind, body and soul with meditation, time on the beach and a wholistic approach to recovery.

A week later, on July 8th, terrified and overwhelmed, having told only a small handful of people – some of them friends brought to me through the gift of the internet, I surrendered to the idea that I had a problem, but, with help, I could recover.

185 days later….I’m alive, I’m sober, I’m tearful and beyond grateful for the gifts that sobriety has brought into my world.

I was positive saying ‘never again’ to wine was impossible, so I have learned to say ‘one day at a time’. 

I was positive there was nothing in life I couldn’t do if I set my mind to it, but alcohol proved me wrong – so I asked for help, and I have been given the gift of a renewed and beautiful relationship with my babies – who never stopped loving me, but have learned to trust me again.

I was positive, without wine, I wouldn’t be any fun, that whatever ‘sparkle’ I possessed was fueled by a few glasses of champagne and a ‘Rosé all Day’ motto, but so many of you proved me wrong by first noticing a light returning to my eyes that I didn’t know was missing….without ever knowing the alcohol had been removed. I have been given the gift of hope, the gift of friendship, the gift of watching the impossible unfold.

I was positive my ability to have faith in any form of God had been destroyed, but I am seeing beauty in my faith as it carries me. 

Last night, a new friend asked what has been the best part of my sobriety journey thus far and this was my answer:

It could be finally feeling more like myself than I have in years or being comfortable in this skin and life I’ve been given. It could be having a connection to my children that I seemed to have lost briefly or it could be the gifts that come with vulnerability and being able to let people know that I see them in a way that way that they don’t think they will ever be seen – a feeling I know well as I had started to feel invisible and as though it would be impossible for anyone to ever truly see me again.

It could be feeling normal – FINALLY – but in the most beautifully abnormal way because I am surrounded by people who understand what it’s like to think and feel as I do. 

It could be that people I haven’t spoken to in years are reaching out and sharing their own stories – some to support, some to ask for help as they are seeing some tiny reflection of themselves – some small slice of hope in something I have shared.

It could be, that despite my deep regret at having caused pain and concern for people who love me, I wouldn’t change this path I am on. Despite how much I will always remember my love for a beautiful glass of champagne, I know I’m no longer the girl who can have and appreciate one and I honestly don’t want her back.

This happened FOR me. I am where I am supposed to be…and the Danielle who turns 47 in two weeks? Well, not only will she be doing that sober, but she knows how to sparkle and celebrate without wine and champagne and she’s good with that. 

 

 

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