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Cancer Research 20 Aug 2013 6:51 PM (11 years ago)

 Today has been 4 months since Brian died. Needless to say it has been a difficult day.

This morning, I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Dale Greiner of The University of Massachusetts Medical School. Dr. Greiner took the time to explain his research to me. While his background is primarily in Diabetes research, his work offers promise to patients with Cancer, Diabetes, HIV, and other auto-immune diseases. 

                                                            Dr. Greiner

"Our laboratory is focusing on the development of “humanized” mice to study human T1D in collaboration with Dr. Leonard Shultz at The Jackson Laboratory. We have developed unique strains of mice that can be engrafted with functional human cells and tissues, including human islets and human immune systems. We are now using these mice to understand how human beta cells resist killing by a human autoimmune system in vivo, how human beta cells replicate and regenerate in vivo, how human autoreactive cells develop in a human diabetes-susceptible immune system, and how a human immune system targets and kills beta cells in vivo. These approaches are allowing us to understand and dissect mechanisms important in human T1D that cannot be studied directly in humans. Moreover, because these mice readily accept human cells and tissues, we are now using them to study human regenerative medicine, immunity, human-specific infectious agents and cancer."

Those of you who know me well know that my vegetarian soft-heart struggles with animal research. You also know that I would have done almost anything to save Brian, and that if risking the lives of 50 mice could have saved him, I would have done so in a second.

Next month Dr. Greiner will be honored as the first recipient of the Dr. Eileen L. Berman and Stanley I. Berman Foundation Chair Grant to research early detection and treatment of abdominal cancers including appendicial and peritonial cancer. He is one of only a few researchers world-wide focusing on these insidious forms of cancer.

Sadly, it is too late to help Brian. The cancer struck him so cruelly and left us with no viable treatments. Dr. Greiner's work, however, can save others from the same fate. This research can help with early detection, and offer the promise of new and patient-specific treatment options.

Dr. Greiner's work has become my hope. His research has become my charity of choice. Brian's death was senseless and cruel. If I can help spread the word about this promising research, and if by spreading the word, I can help raise funding for this research, then maybe I can be instrumental in finding a cure. Then maybe Brian's death will not have been for nothing.

Donations to Dr. Greiner's research can be made to:

The Diabetes Center of Excellence
attn: Lisa Hubacz, Administrator
55 Lake Avenue North, AC2-208
Worcester, MA 01605

Donations marked for cancer research will be earmarked specifically for this project.

Contest 24 Jul 2013 4:28 PM (11 years ago)

I don't know anything about Bruges Lace, but I would love to win this contest!   Not looking for competition (I want this book!), but you can enter the contest too.  Just use this link. 

Hope 7 Jul 2013 4:27 PM (11 years ago)

I know that grieving is a process.  I know that with time, I will start to feel human again and develop a routine that feels normal.  I know that I am blessed with a family that loves and supports me, and the very best friends that anyone could ask for.  I am showered with love and care.

I know that with time, the pain I feel will lessen, and that life will be easier. 

Brian was amazing.  He was my best friend, my husband, my lover, my biggest fan, and my most reliable and honest critic.  He made me laugh, he made me smile, he brought so much joy into my love.  He taught me the meaning of unconditional love. 

I know that things will get better, but it is hard to feel hopeful about the future, when I know that my best years are in the past. 

Please, help to save a life 4 Jul 2013 5:00 PM (11 years ago)

I recently lost my husband to cancer of the appendix. If you google "appendix cancer" you'll find lots of amber ribbon products: t-shirts, jewelry, buttons, etc. They even market amber ribbon products for Appendix Cancer Month.

But if you google "when is appendix cancer month?" you won't find an answer. There is no month designated for appendicial cancer. It is such a rare form of cancer, that not only can't you find it's "month", you'll be hard pressed to find places to donate money specifically for research of appendicial cancer.
The PMP Pals Network provides a short list of doctors doing research in appendicial and peritonial cancers to whom you can donate directly, but there is no one organization with a voice loud enough to raise awareness and raise money for research.

Lots of organizations are selling Amber Ribbon products to "raise awareness", but what they are mostly raising are corporate profits. These products might make us feel better, but they do nothing to bring more attention to the disease, educate people about early warning signs, or find more effective treatments and cures.

Brian died because Appendicial Cancer is a bitch. It grows silently without warning signs, and by the time it is detected it is often spread throughout the peritoneal cavity. By the time Brian exhibited any symptoms, the cancer was everywhere. He first showed symptoms on December 28th. By the time he had a diagnosis, on January 8th, it was stage IV terminal cancer.

I don't know how I, as an individual, can make a difference. I desperately want people to be aware of this rare cancer. I desperately want funds designated for research and for education and awareness.

"Appendix cancer usually does not cause symptoms until it is in an advanced stage and has spread to other parts of the body. When symptoms are present, they vary from person to person and may include:

*Acute appendicitis: Most cases of appendix cancer are discovered during surgery for appendicitis
* Increase in abdomen size/girth, bloating
* Vague abdominal discomfort in the lower right abdomen
* Pelvic discomfort
* New hernias
* Bowel obstruction
* Ovarian masses
* Acute or chronic abdominal pain "

Patients may also notice a darkening of the skin under the arms, on the lower abdomen, and in the groin area.

I have been accused of having a big mouth, but even my big mouth is too small for the task at hand. So I'm asking for your help to raise awareness. If we all post the amber ribbon and the warning signs on our blogs and facebook timelines, maybe we can spread information and help to save a life.

Update 12 May 2013 8:36 AM (11 years ago)

My husband died in my arms on April 20th.

My life has been turned upside down, and this has been a horrible time, but I thank you all so much for all your kind words and messages.

Personal 3 Feb 2013 4:43 PM (12 years ago)

I don't usually post personal things on my blog, but my life has been turned upside down.  On January 8th my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  Chemo might buy him some time, but the cancer is terminal and he is not expected to go into remission.

I have been with him at the hospital thanks to so many dear friends who are surrounding us with love, praying, bringing me meals, staying with me during surgeries, and taking care of our dog and cat.

My husband is the love of my life.  He is kind and good, compassionate, smart, funny, strong, and courageous.  He is in pain, but is handling this with strength.  I, on the other hand, am falling apart.  I can not relieve his pain, and I don't know how to help him.

This is torture.  He is right here in the room with me, but I miss him so much.  I don't know how much time we will have together, I just pray that he can have quality time.

I am so sad and so lonely.  He has been the one to help me through so many difficult times, but he can't help me with this one.  I am in so much pain, but I know that my pain is just a fraction of his.

He just turned 48 in December.  Our 7th wedding anniversary will be the 26th of this month.  This is so unfair and cruel.  My heart is broken.

What I've been up to 9 Dec 2012 4:15 PM (12 years ago)

Well, the eye has not been great and is slowing me down a bit, but I've still be knitting, crocheting and weaving. 

Still working on my nephew's prayer shawl, but haven't made a tremendous amount of progress on the loom.

I'm still knitting the shawl, but with my eye issue, it is really very hard to see the stitches, so I've made almost no progress.

I did remake the little crochet post stitch vest, and this time I completed the hood.  It's ok, but I'm not thrilled with how it came out, so I haven't gotten around to sewing on the buttons yet.  I need to do that because it needs to be finished while it is still close enough to wear!!!

I did finally finish my ruffle scarf.  Last year I made a ton of novelty scarves for holiday gifts.  I started one for myself, but the weather got warm and I never finished it.  I decided I needed to, and I got it done this week.  I LOVE it and have been wearing it every chance I get!

Still here! 4 Nov 2012 2:12 PM (12 years ago)

I haven't posted recently, but not because I'm not involved in projects.  I'm probably involved in too many projects, and not getting any done!!!

I'm still working on weaving my nephews prayer shawl.  I love the fabric I'm creating, but my back has been hurting so my weaving time is limited

I'm still working on the lovely shawl, but my eye has been bothering me and it isn't easy to see my stitches, so I'm making mistakes.  :(

I found an amazing post stitch crochet sweater to make, and I love the pattern.  I followed the instructions for the 6 month size, but despite my gauge appearing to be correct, the sweater turned out tiny!  It's more like a take me home from the hospital and then hand this down to another newborn because I'll outgrow it in a week size.  I hate frogging though, so I omitted the hood and the sleeves, and just completed it as a vest.  Then I immediately started a larger version using the 9 month size and a larger hook.  Hopefully this one will be better.

I haven't yet blocked it or sewn on the buttons, but this gives you an idea of what it will look like.  The larger version will be hooded and have sleeves.

I plan to donate this to Marine Corps Kids and thinking of sending it to Germany where they will need really warm items for the babies.

Grandbaby Gift 27 Sep 2012 6:58 PM (12 years ago)

The other day my husband casually mentioned that someone he worked with had just become a grandfather, and asked if I had something made that I could send as a gift.  Um...no, but crochet is fast!  So I quickly made this little dress.  It took only a few hours to make, and I think it turned out cute!

I know that some people think that crocheted garments pale in comparison to knitted ones, but I could NEVER have created a knit dress in so short a time.

I love to weave, crochet and knit; and there is definitely a time for each.

Correction 18 Sep 2012 5:06 PM (12 years ago)

The tallis is coming along nicely.  The fabric is a bit more green that I anticipated, but I love the beautiful ocean hues.

I did have one problem when I found a knot in one of my warp threads.  It was small enough that I got the loom warped without noticing it, but when I started to weave, the reed would not pass easily over the know and the thread became loose.  I wasn't sure how to fix it as I'm not very good with warp repair.  In a moment of extreme luck, I was able to cut the thread and repair it using the invisible join loop method that I used for crochet.  The repair area will be slightly thicker, but I've already worked past it, and it is not visible in the final fabric. 

I really like the way the fabric is turning out, and hope that I will be able to create a beautiful and useable tallit!

For Baby Marissa 16 Sep 2012 11:35 AM (12 years ago)

Just finished this little romper top for Baby Marissa who was born this week.  She arrived early and is only 3 pounds, so this top may need to be packed away till next year, but she is a fighter and is strong and beautiful, and I look forward to the day when she will be big enough to wear this. 

The Tallis 8 Sep 2012 11:03 AM (12 years ago)

When I first fell in love with weaving, I decided that I wanted to weave my nephew a Tallis (prayer shawl) for his Bar-Mitzvah.   Over a year ago I purchased this beautiful Rick Rack yarn by Interlacements.

Looks funny, but it seems to work!  I was able to pull the yarn from the center as I warped the loom and don't think I'll have a problem with tangles.  I did have to struggle with knots though!  As I warped, I found many knots in the yarn - not knots from the manufacturer where they join two ends, but knots that were created when the yarn was wound.  I had to cut and tie on several times, but I managed to stay cool and get the loom warped.

Final Photo 6 Sep 2012 4:56 PM (12 years ago)

It's finished, it's blocked, it's ready to ship to a baby.

I'm really proud of this!  It's not perfect, but its my first knitted sweater and a little Marine Corps Baby will be wearing it!

I did it!!! 27 Aug 2012 3:56 PM (12 years ago)

I knit my very first sweater!!  I didn't think I could actually manage this, but I did.  There are plenty of mistakes and problems with gauge, but in the end I made a baby sweater that is actually wearable.  I'm so excited that I'm posting pics before it is truly finished.  I still need to block it.  Also, last weekend I drove across town to buy buttons and came home with only 4 when I really needed 5.  So.... 1 more button and blocking, and this will be ready to be donated to Marine Corps Kids!

Off the Loom 26 Aug 2012 11:41 AM (12 years ago)

It's been about a year since I finished a project on my loom.  I started a shawl many  many months ago, but then I got involved in a bunch of crochet and knit projects and sort of neglected it.  A few months ago, I had a bulging disk in my spine, and I wasn't physically able to bend over my loom.  Today, I decided it was time to finish this shawl because this one was going to be for me!!! 

I purchased the yarn with a gift certificate I won last year in an auction, and I just love the colors and texture of the yarn!   The fabric it created is gorgeous, and I love the finished product - except, that I ran out of yarn long before I had a long enough shawl.  Sadly, I will not be able to enjoy this piece.

While it is not large enough to be a shawl, it is long enough to serve as a nursing cover.  I will therefore donate this to Marine Corps Kids, and hope that one of the nursing moms loves this fabric as much as I do.

Another Pink Sweater 29 Jul 2012 12:04 PM (12 years ago)

I am still working my way through my purchase of the pink Patons Silk Bamboo, so I made another sweater and hat for Marine Corps Kids. 

I started out following this pattern, and I really like the design of the yoke.  Then when I got to the graph section, I had a lot of trouble interpreting the graph, so I improvised.  I really like the look and weight of the bottom of the skirt.  I finished the bottom of the sweater by repeating the pattern from the yoke, added ribbon ties (sewn in for safety) instead of buttons, and then created a cute cap to match.

I like the way this set turned out.  It will be going to Marine Corps Kids for one of our newborns.

Approved!!!! 15 Jul 2012 1:17 PM (12 years ago)

Just 4 day's old, but Joshua seems to approve.   (insert "Awww" here)

Another set for Marine Corps Kids 14 Jul 2012 3:16 PM (12 years ago)

You have probably guessed by now that I bought several skeins of the Paton's Silk Bamboo.  It was on sale at Jo-Ann's, and the pink color was further discounted to about $1.20 per skein!  Luckily, this is a great yarn for cute little baby dresses and tops.

Earlier this week I finished this little smock using this pattern, and today I made a little hat to match.

Like the dresses I made last week, this set will be donated to Marine Corps Kids. 

Baby Dress #2 8 Jul 2012 12:11 PM (12 years ago)

Just finished another little dress to donate to Marine Corps Kids.

For this one I used this Angel Wings Pinafore pattern.  I followed the pattern almost exactly modifying it only to work the skirt in the round to avoid a seam in the back. 

Like the last dress I made, this is a very simple and quick pattern.  This dress is a bit heavier than the last so it might not be ideal for heat oppressive days, but I actually like the fished product better.  The open lace on the first is nice, but this looks more polished.

Again - this is a super easy pattern that would be great for beginners!

Crochet Baby Dress 6 Jul 2012 5:54 PM (12 years ago)

After starting and stopping several new knitting projects, and being frustrated by my lack of progress, I decided I needed a little instant gratification and took out my crochet hooks.

I mad this little Solomon's Knot Baby Dress in just a few hours.  It was very simple to make and gave me the satisfaction of finishing a useable project.  I had never done the Solomon's Knot before, but the video instructions made it very simple.  In fact, this would be a great project for any beginner crocheter!

I followed the pattern exactly, but added a single crochet to the bottom hem to weight it down a bit.  I also omitted the flower on the front since this dress is for a newborn and the flower might be uncomfortable when baby is lying on her belly. 

Solomon's Knot is not my favorite stitch, and I think that if I make another of these dresses, I will substitute a shell pattern for the skirt.  Still it was great to finish a project sucessfully.

This dress will be donated to Marine Corps Kids. 

Got the Blues 23 Jun 2012 11:13 AM (12 years ago)

And no, I'm not referring to the shades of blue yarn that I used in my attempt at a log cabin blanket - I'm referring to my by mood.  Three weeks of back pain have me very cranky!  I have graduated out of the complete bed rest phase, but I still find sitting for more than 10 minutes impossible.  I'm bored and cranky.

After finishing my beaded scarf (which I'm very pleased with) I've attempted to start new knitting projects.  I started a log blanket and failed.  Then I started some square patterns and got bored. 

This morning I started another log cabin.  It only proved to remind me that I am still a complete novice.  My knitting was ok, but I did a lousy job with color changes and picking up stitches.  I know that practice makes perfect, but right now I need a little positive reinforcement - not a lesson in patience. 

I have yarn and beads for another beaded scarf, so perhaps I should start that.  Or maybe I should just pick up some yarn and a hook and crochet something.  My crochet skills are much more advanced, and I know that I can make something for Marine Corps Kids.

Finished!!!! 16 Jun 2012 3:20 PM (12 years ago)

I threw my back out and have spent the greater part of the last two weeks lying flat in bed.  This has not been conducive to knitting or much else.  Today, however, I was feeling well enough to prop myself up on pillows and do some knitting.  It felt great!!!

I completed the second half of my beaded scarf, and took a stab at the kitchner stitch to join the two halves.  

My kitchner stitch was not perfect - it seems like the second half of the seam is fine, but the first inch or so seems a bit off.  Still, it's not really noticeable, and I'm happy that my first try was relatively successful!

I love this scarf!  It took a while, but was fun to make!  I still have to wash and block it (if you look closely you can see the cat hair on the scarf), but I'm very proud at my first attempt at knitting with beads.  I can't wait to make more and to try to come up with my own variations on the bead work.

Not sure if I'll keep this one for myself or make a gift of it, but I'm relishing the feeling of being productive today and completing this project!

On Hold 15 May 2012 3:37 PM (12 years ago)

I have several WIPs that I want to finish!

I'm working on the second side of my knit-beaded scarf.  I'm enjoying that project and am eager to finish it.

I also have a ruffled scarf that I wanted to make for myself last winter.  I got involved in so many other projects for gifts, that that got put on hold, and now it's too warm to worry about.  I do need to finish it before Fall though.

I still have a project on the loom that I want to complete - and all sorts of gorgeous yarn that I want to weave future projects with.

Unfortunately, my eye has been acting up again, and I haven't been able to do much crafting lately.  I think I can probably try to crochet something simple, but I don't have the visual acuity right now to knit.

Had an eye treatment today, and hoping that I can get back to my crafting very quickly.  With a little good luck, I'll be posting more finished projects soon!

Pretty cute, if I may say so myself! 17 Apr 2012 5:58 PM (12 years ago)

After years of crochet, during the last 2 years I sort of switched my focus to weaving and knitting. Nothing like a really fun project to remind me why I fell in love with crochet in the first place. Knitting is definitely better for some things, but I love the cute animals that I created in crochet for this project.

This blanket is for my friend's expected nephew. When I heard that they were planning a Noah's Ark theme, I found a cute pattern and just had to buy it. This is how it turned out. I followed the pattern pretty exactly, but used my own color combinations. I added the little lion, using fun fur for the mane. I wasn't in love with the turtle in the pattern, so I improvised the cute sea horse instead. Then I made a cute matching cap and decorated that with a little lion of its own.

Just finished it tonight, and I must say I'm rather pleased with the results. Hope the little guy likes it when he arrives this summer!

He built them an arky-arky 21 Mar 2012 3:14 PM (13 years ago)

I am really enjoying making this baby blanket! So far I've just worked on the cute motifs. Crocheting the actual blanket may get a bit tedious, but I think that this is going to be so cute that I'll be anxious to finish and get the whole thing completed!