I know that grieving is a process. I know that with time, I will start to feel human again and develop a routine that feels normal. I know that I am blessed with a family that loves and supports me, and the very best friends that anyone could ask for. I am showered with love and care.
I know that with time, the pain I feel will lessen, and that life will be easier.
Brian was amazing. He was my best friend, my husband, my lover, my biggest fan, and my most reliable and honest critic. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he brought so much joy into my love. He taught me the meaning of unconditional love.
I know that things will get better, but it is hard to feel hopeful about the future, when I know that my best years are in the past.
My husband died in my arms on April 20th.
My life has been turned upside down, and this has been a horrible time, but I thank you all so much for all your kind words and messages.
I don't usually post personal things on my blog, but my life has been turned upside down. On January 8th my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Chemo might buy him some time, but the cancer is terminal and he is not expected to go into remission.
I have been with him at the hospital thanks to so many dear friends who are surrounding us with love, praying, bringing me meals, staying with me during surgeries, and taking care of our dog and cat.
My husband is the love of my life. He is kind and good, compassionate, smart, funny, strong, and courageous. He is in pain, but is handling this with strength. I, on the other hand, am falling apart. I can not relieve his pain, and I don't know how to help him.
This is torture. He is right here in the room with me, but I miss him so much. I don't know how much time we will have together, I just pray that he can have quality time.
I am so sad and so lonely. He has been the one to help me through so many difficult times, but he can't help me with this one. I am in so much pain, but I know that my pain is just a fraction of his.
He just turned 48 in December. Our 7th wedding anniversary will be the 26th of this month. This is so unfair and cruel. My heart is broken.
Well, the eye has not been great and is slowing me down a bit, but I've still be knitting, crocheting and weaving.
Still working on my nephew's prayer shawl, but haven't made a tremendous amount of progress on the loom.
I'm still knitting the shawl, but with my eye issue, it is really very hard to see the stitches, so I've made almost no progress.
I did remake the little crochet post stitch vest, and this time I completed the hood. It's ok, but I'm not thrilled with how it came out, so I haven't gotten around to sewing on the buttons yet. I need to do that because it needs to be finished while it is still close enough to wear!!!
I did finally finish my ruffle scarf. Last year I made a ton of novelty scarves for holiday gifts. I started one for myself, but the weather got warm and I never finished it. I decided I needed to, and I got it done this week. I LOVE it and have been wearing it every chance I get!
I haven't posted recently, but not because I'm not involved in projects. I'm probably involved in too many projects, and not getting any done!!!
I'm still working on weaving my nephews prayer shawl. I love the fabric I'm creating, but my back has been hurting so my weaving time is limited
I'm still working on the lovely shawl, but my eye has been bothering me and it isn't easy to see my stitches, so I'm making mistakes. :(
I found an amazing post stitch crochet sweater to make, and I love the pattern. I followed the instructions for the 6 month size, but despite my gauge appearing to be correct, the sweater turned out tiny! It's more like a take me home from the hospital and then hand this down to another newborn because I'll outgrow it in a week size. I hate frogging though, so I omitted the hood and the sleeves, and just completed it as a vest. Then I immediately started a larger version using the 9 month size and a larger hook. Hopefully this one will be better.
The other day my husband casually mentioned that someone he worked with had just become a grandfather, and asked if I had something made that I could send as a gift. Um...no, but crochet is fast! So I quickly made this little dress. It took only a few hours to make, and I think it turned out cute!
Just finished this little romper top for Baby Marissa who was born this week. She arrived early and is only 3 pounds, so this top may need to be packed away till next year, but she is a fighter and is strong and beautiful, and I look forward to the day when she will be big enough to wear this.
When I first fell in love with weaving, I decided that I wanted to weave my nephew a Tallis (prayer shawl) for his Bar-Mitzvah. Over a year ago I purchased this beautiful Rick Rack yarn by Interlacements.
I knit my very first sweater!! I didn't think I could actually manage this, but I did. There are plenty of mistakes and problems with gauge, but in the end I made a baby sweater that is actually wearable. I'm so excited that I'm posting pics before it is truly finished. I still need to block it. Also, last weekend I drove across town to buy buttons and came home with only 4 when I really needed 5. So.... 1 more button and blocking, and this will be ready to be donated to Marine Corps Kids!
It's been about a year since I finished a project on my loom. I started a shawl many many months ago, but then I got involved in a bunch of crochet and knit projects and sort of neglected it. A few months ago, I had a bulging disk in my spine, and I wasn't physically able to bend over my loom. Today, I decided it was time to finish this shawl because this one was going to be for me!!!
I purchased the yarn with a gift certificate I won last year in an auction, and I just love the colors and texture of the yarn! The fabric it created is gorgeous, and I love the finished product - except, that I ran out of yarn long before I had a long enough shawl. Sadly, I will not be able to enjoy this piece.
While it is not large enough to be a shawl, it is long enough to serve as a nursing cover. I will therefore donate this to Marine Corps Kids, and hope that one of the nursing moms loves this fabric as much as I do.
I am still working my way through my purchase of the pink Patons Silk Bamboo, so I made another sweater and hat for Marine Corps Kids.
Just 4 day's old, but Joshua seems to approve. (insert "Awww" here)
You have probably guessed by now that I bought several skeins of the Paton's Silk Bamboo. It was on sale at Jo-Ann's, and the pink color was further discounted to about $1.20 per skein! Luckily, this is a great yarn for cute little baby dresses and tops.
Just finished another little dress to donate to Marine Corps Kids.
After starting and stopping several new knitting projects, and being frustrated by my lack of progress, I decided I needed a little instant gratification and took out my crochet hooks.
And no, I'm not referring to the shades of blue yarn that I used in my attempt at a log cabin blanket - I'm referring to my by mood. Three weeks of back pain have me very cranky! I have graduated out of the complete bed rest phase, but I still find sitting for more than 10 minutes impossible. I'm bored and cranky.
After finishing my beaded scarf (which I'm very pleased with) I've attempted to start new knitting projects. I started a log blanket and failed. Then I started some square patterns and got bored.
This morning I started another log cabin. It only proved to remind me that I am still a complete novice. My knitting was ok, but I did a lousy job with color changes and picking up stitches. I know that practice makes perfect, but right now I need a little positive reinforcement - not a lesson in patience.
I have yarn and beads for another beaded scarf, so perhaps I should start that. Or maybe I should just pick up some yarn and a hook and crochet something. My crochet skills are much more advanced, and I know that I can make something for Marine Corps Kids.
I threw my back out and have spent the greater part of the last two weeks lying flat in bed. This has not been conducive to knitting or much else. Today, however, I was feeling well enough to prop myself up on pillows and do some knitting. It felt great!!!
I have several WIPs that I want to finish!
I'm working on the second side of my knit-beaded scarf. I'm enjoying that project and am eager to finish it.
I also have a ruffled scarf that I wanted to make for myself last winter. I got involved in so many other projects for gifts, that that got put on hold, and now it's too warm to worry about. I do need to finish it before Fall though.
I still have a project on the loom that I want to complete - and all sorts of gorgeous yarn that I want to weave future projects with.
Unfortunately, my eye has been acting up again, and I haven't been able to do much crafting lately. I think I can probably try to crochet something simple, but I don't have the visual acuity right now to knit.
Had an eye treatment today, and hoping that I can get back to my crafting very quickly. With a little good luck, I'll be posting more finished projects soon!
After years of crochet, during the last 2 years I sort of switched my focus to weaving and knitting. Nothing like a really fun project to remind me why I fell in love with crochet in the first place. Knitting is definitely better for some things, but I love the cute animals that I created in crochet for this project.
This blanket is for my friend's expected nephew. When I heard that they were planning a Noah's Ark theme, I found a cute pattern and just had to buy it. This is how it turned out. I followed the pattern pretty exactly, but used my own color combinations. I added the little lion, using fun fur for the mane. I wasn't in love with the turtle in the pattern, so I improvised the cute sea horse instead. Then I made a cute matching cap and decorated that with a little lion of its own.
Just finished it tonight, and I must say I'm rather pleased with the results. Hope the little guy likes it when he arrives this summer!
I am really enjoying making this baby blanket! So far I've just worked on the cute motifs. Crocheting the actual blanket may get a bit tedious, but I think that this is going to be so cute that I'll be anxious to finish and get the whole thing completed!