Mountain Dew Ice Cream Recipe 18 Sep 2016 8:53 AM (8 years ago)
I'm suspicious of this stuff because the actual portion of flavoring agent is so small.
Old machines 16 Dec 2014 12:28 PM (10 years ago)
Saw these dudes at an old warehouse that was getting emptied out. They were already claimed, a good thing that saved me from having them in my garage.
Slurpee lingo 8 Dec 2014 12:27 PM (10 years ago)
I had a Facetime conversation with an anonymous Slurpee scientist who shared the jargon used by researchers when describing certain aspects of Slurpee nature. Below are screen grabs from that chat along with the samples used to illustrate the terminology.
Cavitation describes the air pockets that form inside the Slurpee which are caused by an over-frozen product "laying the loops" incorrectly. "Ideally a Slurpee has no air pockets larger than a standard carbonation bubble, or SCB," says the Slurpee scientist. I'll add that this matches no definition of the word cavitation that I've ever encountered, and I consider it to be one of my favorite words ever. Right up there with blustery.
Liminal Rifting describes pockets of liquid collecting mid-Slurpee or "in the middle third" as the guy put it. I quote: "You know you have liminal rifting if the top of the liquid packet is angled or curved, a horizontal line towards is indicative of cross glaciation. Liminal rifting can be a real problem for both store and customer as the slush and clinkers are buoyed up by the downward pressure of the heavier liquid... This is why you sometimes have a Slurpee start squirting slush out the straw hole."
I once had this happen and I dripped Slurpee all over some high school kids. I bought them their drinks as an apology.
Girl Mountain 24 Nov 2013 7:06 PM (11 years ago)
Girl Mountain is one of my favorite comics online, just noticed a recent post about soda:
The Last Unicorn 1 Oct 2013 8:44 AM (11 years ago)
One remains in my refrigerator.
Copy and paste White Castles 24 Sep 2013 10:23 AM (11 years ago)
Was this a creative decision or just someone being lazy? Did the photographer only ever shoot one chicken sandwich, forcing the poor artist to copy and paste? Are the sandwiches made of paste? Why would you advertise awful chicken sandwiches at a place made for hamburger eating?
Kickstart phone capture 17 Sep 2013 8:46 AM (11 years ago)
Kickstart Mountain Dew and Pimento Cheese 10 Sep 2013 10:29 AM (11 years ago)
A Slow and Disinterested Death 10 Sep 2013 8:13 AM (11 years ago)
Some links:
http://animalnewyork.com/2013/syrian-teen-only-instagrams-soda-and-energy-drinks/
and:
The only photo credit I can give is that it's from Reddit. A fantastic selection of fake Mountain Dews, especially considering that I've never seen any of them. Maybe I've seen the "Chill" one, but maybe not.
I received this email: 6 May 2013 6:03 PM (11 years ago)
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Blue Collar restaurant fucks it up 31 Mar 2013 3:59 PM (12 years ago)
Blue Collar is a "roadside hamburger" type restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn which I wrote about a while ago. Pretty good hamburgers, not as great as everyone says but good enough that I'll go out of my way to stop there.
The highlight of the visit was the soda machine, it was a 1960/70s looking machine all boxy and nostalgia inducing. And it gave delicious soda, the mix was perfect. I actually asked if they used a special sort of soft drink mix when I first went there it was so different and old-fashioned tasting.
But in this last visit the machine was changed, it was a new machine and all the drinks in it weren't just not-as-good but they were off flavor. Poorly mixed.
Not only a dining fail, but it makes the restaurant look cheap. So sad.
Mountain Dew Fruit Punch Kickstart 21 Mar 2013 8:04 AM (12 years ago)
Kickstart, why you so hard to get? They give samples away for free at my wife's work but she wasn't allowed a can to bring me. I don't see it for sale anywhere in my neighborhood. Nowhere is Mountain Dew Kickstart buyable for a Bronxian like myself. So what has to happen?
A pal visiting Minnesota takes a can and puts it in a cardboard box. Someone took the time to make that box out of raw box stuff, and they had to make the tape and the Sharpie used to address it, too. All this effort went into making a box and packing peanuts which this woman used to contain this can. The box was driven to a post office and money was exchanged, a bargain struck that the post office man would see to it that I received the can of soda inside the box. That man put paper stickers and stamps on it, then put it in a box which was put on a truck and moved in and out of other buildings and trucks until it had come about 1300 miles. Then it was put in the smallest truck yet and from there probably stuck in a green street pick up box. A guy on foot, new on the job, put that box in a wheeled bag and brought it to my building. He let himself inside with a key and then rode an elevator to my floor.
He rang the bell and handed me the box.
Seriously Mountain Dew, just stock the crap at my supermarket. It'll be so much easier for everyone. And Throwback Mountain Dew and Caffeine Free Mountain Dew, stock those too.
I wanted to open the stuff back immediately but held off. It's a breakfast drink, I shall drink it for breakfast. In all fairness I now see that the can doesn't actually say "drink this shit first thing in the morning, yo." In fact, the can doesn't say much at all but just says what it is - an "Energizing Fruit Punch with just the right amount of KICK".
But yesterday I was ignorant of these niceties, I just put the can in the refrigerator and sat down to wait. Twelve hours later I hopped off my sleeping palette and ran to the refrigerator. Brush my teeth? Heck no, maybe the Mountain Dew'll do that for me.
A quick pull and, holy shit, it's delicious. What the hell. Mountain Dew consistently fucks up their off flavors, White Out and the long lost lime flavor excepted, but this was great. It was actually refreshing, a word I hear bandied about quite a bit but never really experience. In high school I used to drink a can of Mountain Dew in the morning on an empty stomach, it was my breakfast. For the next three hours I'd stagger around like I'd been punched in the stomach, miserable and sick but unwilling to admit I was wrong to "do the dew".
This is different. I can totally see drinking this in the morning. I mean, fuck, it didn't make me sick to my stomach and that's AWESOME.
One of the crazy things about this drink is that it has half the calories of a smaller can of Mountain Dew without any diet taste. There's a little bit of tongue numbness in there, but nothing awful. I do wonder about the "5% Juice" boast. If it's 5% juice but white grape juice concentrate is the third ingredient, what does that tell us about the volume of water and corn syrup in this can? If I was algebra-wise I'd be all over that like a duck on a word problem, but I ain't so I'll let it go.
And it's good to see something with the word energy on the can that doesn't taste like a hedge witch's anus.
A fun drink but:
It caught up with me. Half an hour after drinking half the can I had a huge headrush, a little woozy and a little tunnel-visiony. I had to sit down and remember that the doctor told me that metric fucktons of the caffeines are bad for dudes my age. But it passed and I live, so things aren't that bad.
Mayim Chaim Cola and Half and Half 7 Mar 2013 8:58 AM (12 years ago)
I'm tempted to say that these drinks are the equivalent of Catholic mortification for the Hebrew set, a sort of liquid hair shirt for those what have it coming, but that would be an exaggeration. A slight exaggeration.
Rather than being good or bad these are just blah, the cola especially. The cola isn't very fizzy, it isn't very sweet and it isn't very cola-esque. It ain't much at all. It's a bit like they bought the cola soda kit and added half as much syrup as they should've.
The Half & Half tastes nothing like milk, I should joke, but I won't. It's much better than the cola, which isn't saying much. In all honesty I could drink the Half & Half if hard pressed, it wouldn't be the most onerous task set before me in an average day. Lemony and etc it fails to offend.
Why do these sodas exist? Is a mild soda some Jewish ideal? Do their dietary restrictions caution against to much carbonation lest you be plagued by The Lord? I dunno, they are an inscrutable people.
7-11 Sausage in a Pancake 24 Feb 2013 1:56 PM (12 years ago)
7-Eleven yuck issues 5 Feb 2013 11:57 AM (12 years ago)
The chronically broken Coca Cola Slurpee dispenser in Park Slope. Today we see some sort of cleaning device that's been abandoned in front of it, probably left there in a fit of uncaring by a lazy employee.
You shouldn't leave cleaning tools out where customers like me can put our penis hands all over them.
Guinness potato chips 26 Jan 2013 2:16 PM (12 years ago)
Holy fucking hell these are disgusting. More later.
White Castle Bacon 12 Jan 2013 4:50 AM (12 years ago)
White Castle does so many wonderful things wonderfully, but not bacon. Look upon this sad heap of pig, it's very soul stripped away by some unwholesome process. Bacon is hard to mess up, but WC does it.
Alas.
Follow up: I didn't remember writing this post till I opened up the blog. I was up at 7am for work and somehow wandered into a White Castle in my sleepy daze.
Two Boots Cherry Coke Slushpuppy 5 Jan 2013 10:34 AM (12 years ago)
Ker-boring. No taste of coke whatsoever, it's just a slightly sweet crushed ice taste and some food coloring.
Five bucks waste at Two Boots pizza, an otherwise wonderful restaurant.
