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Memory Lane - Sunday 19 Aug 2013 | 12:43 pm

‘So how do you know the happy couple?’ Asks a man in sports casual, with a belly belying the brand. I’m at a birthday bash for one of my oldest friends, curiously his day correlates, quite closely, wi...

Can't Always Get What You Want - Wednesday 7 Aug 2013 | 08:32 am

‘So how much you going to sting me for selling my house?’ Challenges the husband as his wife nods in passive-aggressive agreement. I’ve done the preliminary chat, establishing motivation, and the walk...

Hungry For Business - Tuesday 31 Jul 2013 | 01:31 am

‘Could you do a viewing at lunchtime?’ Asks negotiator S as I come back in the office stomach already rumbling. The bran and suspect dried fruit offering I had at breakfast, in solidarity with my wife...

Feel The Rush - Monday 23 Jul 2013 | 12:46 am

Takes a while, in that semi-conscious time between sleep and waking, to realise what day it is. Then the irritating local radio breakfast show duo, my wife insists is the best way to be woken – we hav...

Summer In The City 18 Jul 2013 | 10:48 am

‘Which tie do you reckon is suitable?’ I ask my wife, staring blankly at the 100-plus selection in the wardrobe door. Some of them should have been jettisoned but you never know when paisley will be b...

Groundhog Day - Monday 12 Jul 2013 | 01:52 pm

‘How are you feeling?’ Asks my wife as I hop from leg to leg and try to pull my suit trousers up. I can feel the suntan fading even before the material covers my legs until a far off two weeks next su...

Excess Baggage - Saturday 7 Jul 2013 | 05:11 pm

‘Now, I need an answers now!’ I yell as the hire car splutters on to a roundabout while I look the wrong way for the umpteenth time and narrowly avoid being sideswiped by an angry looking kid in a Sea...

Inflate After Leaving Aircraft - Friday 21 Jun 2013 | 11:36 am

‘How about these two?’ I suggest to my wife, holding up a couple of summer casual shirts that I maybe shouldn’t have bought last season. Her look alone confirms I won’t be shopping alone for clothes a...

Back In The Doghouse - Wednesday 19 Jun 2013 | 10:34 am

No sooner have I rung the doorbell than the frantic barking and scrabbling of paws on parquet begins. Behind the glass panel I see a huge hound bouncing up and down with excitement at the thought of b...

Black Pudding - Friday 14 Jun 2013 | 12:18 pm

‘If I see another f***ing PowerPoint presentation I’ll top myself.’ Hisses my vertically challenged rival manager H as we settle into another bland hotel meeting room and the bean counter boss unfolds...

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