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A note to my mum this Mother's Day 13 May 2012 | 10:49 pm

My mum spent the weekend painting the kitchen. She didn’t ask for much on Mother’s Day. Just a pot of paint and a phone call and we thought it best not to argue with her when she’s somewhere in the m...

Of mice and (wo)men 4 Jan 2012 | 05:39 pm

"Thank you." - All Mice in Our Home Boonah is in the throes of a mice plague, of sorts. More specifically, the family home in Boonah has come under tiny attack. Which is unfortunate because my family...

Fighting. I do not get it. 21 Nov 2011 | 08:55 pm

How to not be very good at living. I've been in a fight once. More to the point, a fight broke out which included me but which did not draw my participation. To make a shorter point, I was once punc...

Former Rick, you were an unmitigated tosser 13 Sep 2011 | 07:54 pm

This. Hey, 14-year-old Rick, you're an uncompromising idiot. So it turns out my Hotmail email address which I created when I was 14 years old has been hacked. I'm not at all surprised that my Hotmai...

This sucked. 24 Aug 2011 | 08:12 pm

I'm not a builder. I don't have the brain for it. Which explains why I was more than hesitant when Nat from the office convinced me to enter a miniature Dyson vacuum cleaner model building contest. C...

The eternal lament of a launderer 21 Aug 2011 | 03:10 pm

The Winter Olympic sport of 'curling' is actually just a lot of bored people on laundry day. I just spent the last 20 minutes pottering around my bedroom like a loon attempting to curate an outfit in...

Census (and statistical sensibilities) 9 Aug 2011 | 09:25 pm

I think the people who come up with the Census every five years miss some serious golden opportunities. I mean, this is a stocktake of our nation's collective conscience for crying out loud and still,...

On Being a Man: Now with 20% less prancing 31 Jul 2011 | 03:25 pm

I look terrified. I'm not really much of a man's man. The last time I used a shifter spanner it was incorrectly, to fend off an attack from my brother several years ago after I ruined a sculpture he ...

Argh, kill it with fire! 26 Jul 2011 | 09:55 pm

One too many things in this kitchen are flaming... We never learned to cook. We learned to manipulated fire to the point that we could char steak and simultaneously create a blacker shade of black th...

QuittyPants the Terrible 13 Jun 2011 | 01:17 pm

I made the decision to quit with a lead time of less than seven seconds. One minute, I was puffing jauntily away on a cigarette and then suddenly I had quit. I know, that sounds about as authentic as...

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