Blogspot - theopenlettersblog.blogspot.com - The Open Letters Blog
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An Open Letter To That Rotten Egg I Just Threw Out 5 Dec 2011 | 04:10 am
Dear Rotten Egg, I feel bad about what I've done. What if you used to be a kid who just happened to be the last one to do something? What a terrible fate. Apologetically, Shawn
An Open Letter To Everyone Who Has Ever Showed Me a Video Online 16 Nov 2011 | 11:52 am
Dear Video-Sharers, Could you, uh, move that cursor? No, I mean, it's just that...well it's right in the way, if you could just...yeah, yeah, just move it right out of the way there. Thanks. With ap...
An Open Letter to Answers.com 15 Apr 2011 | 01:12 am
Dear Answers.com (or is it "WikiAnswers"? I don't really know), Just the other day, I was finishing up my presentation to the National Board of Endangered Species Protection, and I needed to know how...
An Open Letter to Parking Lot Drivers 12 Apr 2011 | 04:48 am
Written from the center of the crosswalk, heading from the Best Buy parking lot to the store: Dear drivers, What's the rush? Hey, you see that sign there? The one with the pretty red paint and the w...
An Open Letter To Parking Lot Pedestrians 12 Apr 2011 | 04:42 am
Written from my car while stopped, waiting for pedestrians to go from the parking lot into Best Buy and vice versa: Dear Pedestrians, I mean, I know it would be physically possible for you to walk a...
An Open Letter To 5-Hour Energy 7 Apr 2011 | 01:13 pm
Dear 5-Hour Energy Drink, I never tried you before today. I was fearful of what you may do to my body and stuck closely by my trusty Cup O’Joe to give me the boost I needed to make it through my work...
An Open Letter to Angry Birds 5 Apr 2011 | 04:47 am
Dear Angry Birds, You have to be the dumbest game ever put on this planet, and I include Monopoly in that number. God, you're so retarded, and anyone who plays you is equally retarded! I, for one, do...
An Open Letter to My Dogs 1 Apr 2011 | 05:21 am
An Open Letter to My Dogs Dear Snuggles and Clover: Good gravy, what in the world did you two eat? Are you even aware that your farts can penetrate Kevlar? The next time I need to sandblast somethin...
An Open Letter To My Upstairs Neighbors 23 Mar 2011 | 12:16 am
Dear Neighbors, What's it like owning an elephant? I had no idea they did so much jumping! Curious, Shawn
An Open Letter To Anyone With a Bumper Sticker 19 Mar 2011 | 04:10 am
Dear Sticker-Mongers, We don't care. No really, no one does. Nobody cares that your kid made the honor roll and absolutely no one cares that your kid beat up another honor roll student. Nobody care...
