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7 Reasons Getting A Kitten Is Awesome And Also Terrible 7 Aug 2013 | 10:45 pm
Well, it's finally happened. I've adopted a kitten of my own. Her name is Pepper and it's all I can do to not bake her in a quiche and eat her, she's just so cute. Even when she's sinking her teeth in...
Me Want Food 23 Jul 2013 | 08:59 pm
Ladies and gentleman, we are living in the future. Stem cells can essentially be programmed to become any type of cell in the body. HIV is no longer a death sentence. There's even a chick in Georgia w...
The Blunder Years is in stores! 10 Jul 2013 | 12:39 am
My book The Blunder Years is released today! To celebrate I got a new kitten. Her name is Pepper and she sneezed into my coffee while I was typing this. Here are some handy dandy links to purchase my...
Walk It Off 30 May 2013 | 10:11 pm
As a kid, I had poor critical thinking skills and rarely considered the consequences to my actions. When I was six, I spent half an hour spitting into a dime store squirt gun, and then for some inexpl...
Texting Like a Champ 8 May 2013 | 01:14 am
Last week I went on vacation to Puerto Vallarta in Jalisco, Mexico. This is how I chose to communicate with my friend Kristin back in New York. I created my final message the night I arrived home. Fu...
I Want Candy 17 Apr 2013 | 02:35 am
When I was in third grade, my school had a tiered lunch system, where some classes would eat in the cafeteria at 11:30, another group at noon, and a final group at 12:35. It was a major point of conte...
Drawn to Life: Flight Delayed 29 Mar 2013 | 01:38 am
On a recent flight, I had a layover in Chicago that was supposed to last 30 minutes, tops. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed for a couple hours, so to pass the time in the terminal I watched people...
If These Walls Could Talk 13 Mar 2013 | 12:11 am
I called Kristin and asked if she wanted to hang out with me while I painted my new apartment. "What color are you painting it?" she asked me. "A combination of brown and a sort of chartreuse-y gree...
Garbage Mouth 15 Feb 2013 | 03:38 am
I dreamed I had spiders crawling out of my mouth. In the dream, a couple of my back molars cracked and fell out, and from the hole that remained in my gums, a million baby spiders emerged. It was gros...
Terminal Illness 25 Jan 2013 | 02:40 am
When I exited my plane in Minneapolis and entered the terminal, I was high as a kite. My bones felt like jelly. As I walked it felt like I was gliding forward, as if being pulled on a skateboard by so...