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US Military Deploys Two Airsoft Battalions To Syria For ‘Operation: Softening Blow’ 27 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
DAMASCUS — The U.S. military took an unusual move Tuesday with the deployment of two battalions of amateur airsoft players to the Syrian capital, in an attempt to depose Bashar
Manning, Hasan, Sinclair And Bales To Star In ‘Real World: Leavenworth’ 26 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
FORT LEAVENWORTH, KANSAS — MTV has announced that its latest season of its venerable “Real World” reality television series will be filmed within the halls of the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks
War On Terror Just Inception-Induced Dream Of Honduran Immigrant Named Jose 25 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
INCEPTION — Today, the modern American understanding of the global war on terror was shattered. While many Americans falsely believe the amorphous international conflict to be the result of the Septem...
Deployment Queen Expecting Royal Baby 24 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
KANDAHAR AIRFIELD, AFGHANISTAN — Officials from the 10th Sustainment Brigade confirmed that Specialist Catherine Rodriguez, who was crowned Deployment Queen upon the brigade’s arrival in Afghanistan, ...
Kid At The Gate Taking His Sweet Fucking Time Checking ID This Morning 23 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
BETHESDA, MD – Dozens of Naval Support Activity (NSA) Bethesda commuters have expressed their frustration while waiting to drive onto the installation this morning, as it appears that cocky little Mas...
Bradley Manning Sentenced To 35 More Years As A Dude 23 Aug 2013 | 12:00 am
FORT MEADE, MD – Private First Class Bradley Manning was sentenced to 35 years confinement, which is to be served under his biological sex, which is male. “We are grateful
EOD Officer Getting His Ass Kicked By Intermediate Game Of Minesweeper 22 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
ZABUL PROVINCE, AFGHANISTAN – In combat zones across the world, Navy Lt. Cdr. Mike Kendall has rendered safe hundreds of live explosive devices, cheating death and saving countless lives in
Private Turns Himself In After Dreaming Of Killing All His Higher-Ups 21 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
OCEANSIDE, CA — Sometimes police solve crime, and sometimes they prevent it. However, on Tuesday night Camp Pendleton Military Police and Oceanside Police averted a tragedy by doing neither. That’s
Up-Armored Golf Carts Arrive At Bagram Country Club 20 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
BAGRAM AFB, AFGHANISTAN — The first shipment of reinforced golf carts have arrived in theater at Bagram Air Force Base near the Afghan capital of Kabul, sources reported today. “The
Opinion: Staff Sergeant Bales Is A War Criminal 19 Aug 2013 | 04:00 pm
Dear Staff Sergeant Robert Bales, I’m writing to you today not just as a fellow combat veteran, but as an American. I understand the legal concept of innocent before proven
