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Santa Myth Exposed: Muslim Second Grader Ruins Christmas for Entire Class 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

BOSTON, MA – After the events that transpired here last week, Ms. Johnsons’ second grade classroom will never be the same. “We were making cardboard cutouts for the school’s holiday musical when all ...

Shady MSA Getting Shadier 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

DES MOINES, IA – Something is not quite right at the local college MSA. In a continuing pattern of suspicious trends, members are left with many questions as to what might be transpiring within their ...

Guest Speaker Takes Local Fundraiser Hostage, National Inspirational Figure Makes Audience His Minimum Target 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

FREMONT, CA – When Mrs. Wilson’s third grade class at Fremont Elementary School arrived at school Monday morning, they and others were greeted by a myriad of squad cars and special task forces for bot...

Local MSA Still Ponders Reason For Its Existence: Community, MSA Members Unsure Why They Meet Once A Week 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

REDNECK COUNTY, IL – Nearly seven years have passed since the founding of the Muslim Student Association at Cornopolis Community College in Redneck County, but the student organization is still strugg...

Will Someone Please Marry My Ugly Sister? 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

Written By Riaz “Unibrow” Sayeed "Marry Her!" Seriously. I’m getting sick of this. My dad is freaking out. My mom can’t sleep and walks around all day crying. Nobody’s interested in my hooking up wi...

He Is, Like, So Not Worth My Time 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

Written By Anonymous 17 Year Old Sister "Eeeyuuu!" At first, I was like “Oh my god!” Why do they always do this to me? Weirdo gross brown women have been asking me the same stupid marriage questions...

Sikh of Being Mistaken For An Arab 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

By Preet Wallawallabangbang "This is suck!" How many guys I gotta explain?! I’M NOT ARAB! Look, buddy…some tings are really estarting to pass me off. Hawing the guy say me not talk the English when ...

FBI Cracks Down On Lemonade Stand Ring, Continues To Sour Relations With Arab Community 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

BRIDGEVIEW, IL – In its growing paranoia of domestically funded international terrorism, the FBI announced a systematic crackdown of a chain of Arab-owned lemonade stands. The lemonade stands, operat...

Silent, But Deadly, Samir 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

Dear Islamica, If you can’t hear it, does it still break it? – “Silent But Deadly” Samir Response: Well, Samir, you pose a rather interesting question. In fact, I myself have slipped into hours of ...

Distressed Hairorist 22 Nov 2011 | 06:51 am

Salams, Islamica. I know it’s Sunnah to grow a beard, but I can only seem to grow a mustache. What’s a girl to do? – Hairy Huma Response: Although I applaud your efforts at achieving follicular Sun...

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