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DATE NIGHT IDEAS 26 Jan 2013 | 01:07 am
If you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone for more than five years, congratulations! You’re slowly driving each other crazy! While there is the rare, massively co-dependent couple who ca...
HOW TO DO THE DAD DANCE 7 Jan 2013 | 11:03 pm
This past year, I've been to a half dozen weddings, and it's come to my attention that Dads really know how to "cut a rug" on the dance floor. I've seen foxtrots, some nervous Robots... my own Dad has...
EXPLAINING ONE DIRECTION TO ADULTS 3 Jan 2013 | 12:51 am
Well, shit. I’m that guy. The guy who my friends turn to when they need a brief summary of who “that new boy band they’ve heard about” is. The guy who they assume has such an explanation prepared. The...
CBS SITCOM DRINKING GAMES 23 Nov 2012 | 03:08 am
Clearly, simply watching CBS sitcoms is an impossible feat, but this handy set of drinking game rules will allow you to slog your way through episode after episode while getting John Wastamos! (And do...
A LETTER TO MY PROSTATE 14 Nov 2012 | 03:03 am
Dearest prostate, Really? I mean, really? You really thought that hiding in my asshole was a good idea? Let’s take a little sexual tally here, beginning with women. Multiple orgasms without a refracto...
LENA DUNHAM’S BOOK IN 500 WORDS 26 Oct 2012 | 03:12 pm
Upon the announcement of Lena Dunham’s 3.5 million dollar book deal, adolescent girls everywhere shit their high-waisted pleather drawers in eager anticipation. Not wanting to subject them to the tort...
A LETTER TO THE PRODUCERS OF JERSEY SHORE 17 Oct 2012 | 02:16 am
To the producers of Jersey Shore, We need to talk. No, I’m not here to go on a tirade about the representation of Italian-Americans, the glorification of promiscuous sex, the misogynistic representati...
MARY, THE DREADLOCKED CRAIGSLIST PREDATOR 12 Oct 2012 | 03:02 am
Craigslist claimed the position was “work from home,” but I saw no red flag in first meeting face to face. She scheduled the interview for a Thursday; I put on a spiffy little blazer and drove up to G...
HOW TO WIN THE BACHELORETTE 10 Oct 2012 | 02:58 am
This is an article about how to win The Bachelorette. This is not an article about how to successfully fall in love on The Bachelorette, because The Bachelorette has absolutely nothing to do with fall...
EVERYDAY SEX ACTS 5 Oct 2012 | 02:37 pm
We’re all familiar with the list of questionable and sometimes unhygienic sex moves invented by frat house luminaries. The Angry Pirate, the Dirty Sanchez, the Houdini: we laugh at the idea of them, s...
