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TRACY: “I’m gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins?” JACK: “I’ve got two ears and a heart, don’t I?” (–from 30 Rock) 18 Feb 2013 | 07:50 am
The only reason I started watching the show Property Brothers was because I thought Jonathan Scott was the most hideous good looking person I’ve ever seen. It’s how he does his hair and his facial ha...
“Da Vinci Code” author Dan Brown has a new novel coming out in May. You can read an advance copy by reading his last novel.” –Stephen Colbert 8 Feb 2013 | 07:20 am
Things That Have Happened Since I Last Posted: 1. Due to a family emergency, we now have a new roommate. A member of Ben’s family living with us for the time being. I’ll refer to him as GSP from now...
“I’m the opposite of Winston Churchill. Always, always, always give up.” — K-Lo 3 Dec 2012 | 08:59 am
1. Well, I didn’t win the lottery this week. Of course, this isn’t surprising considering my luck AND the fact that I didn’t play it. But still – it’s disappointing nonetheless. 2. We’re still anxiou...
“I’m so angry I’m going to make a list of insults from the internet and use every one of them THRICE!” 26 Nov 2012 | 04:03 am
1. I showed a friend how to do Turkish Get Ups and she said I looked like a corpse being reanimated. You have your strategy for the Zombie Apocalypse. I have mine. 2. Our upstairs neighbors continue...
“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is ... 19 Nov 2012 | 06:41 am
Sorry that this Friday Five is being posted on Sunday. Blame Ben for poisoning me on Friday evening. He was making himself a protein shake and I asked him if he would double it so I could have one too...
“I heard there was a big campaign for new guy, saw Kony 2012 signs EVERYWHERE, so I just wrote him in. Seems like he’s good with kids and stuff.”–Ben 12 Nov 2012 | 04:16 am
1. We watched a movie (for the second time) where this was one of the monsters/bad guys: The first time I saw this I was in the theater, and I went straight home to research the character. (He’s onl...
“Put a razor blade in a Snickers. I’ll eat around it.’ — every kid who ever got a box of raisins while trick or treating.” — Patton Oswalt 3 Nov 2012 | 08:06 am
1. Last Friday, we went to a local haunted house, Nightmare on Pendleton, with friends. Well, with friends, one of their teenage sons, and two of his male friends. Before we met up with them, they had...
“They’re like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra.”–Venture Brothers 27 Oct 2012 | 03:40 am
1. Today, a client came in with a stack of tax notices. He handed them to me while saying, “I received more fan mail from the IRS.” It was the best response to auditing that I’ve heard to date. 2. A...
“Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy.”–Pitch Perfect 20 Oct 2012 | 04:43 am
1. I’ve now survived two sessions with my personal trainer. I think I may scare her. Everything was going well until she pulled out this huge exercise ball. She laid on her back, put the ball between ...
“New Zealand is releasing Hobbit themed coins that are legal tender. And the metal used to mint them is…precious.” — Stephen Colbert 13 Oct 2012 | 06:52 am
1. This week is going to be the death of me! The first part of this week both my boss and the office manager were out sick with the flu. There are only four of us in the office, and the fourth one has...
