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I Bet I Can Raise $5,000,000 For Charity Before Donald Trump Can 25 Oct 2012 | 01:58 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor Okay, so I know I've been away from The Mainland from quite some time. But hey, I'm back! Just like old times right? I understand if you're looking at me...
Suddenly “Blog” Feels Like a 4-Letter Word 13 Aug 2012 | 08:05 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor So, you may have noticed that I haven't written anything in the past couple of weeks. The Olympics are the main reason for that, being that I'm such a HUGE...
Mommy, Can You Give Me Herpes For Christmas? 23 Jul 2012 | 06:29 pm
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor Yes, my 6-year-old son actually said that, and no, we are not a bunch of inbred hicks living in the middle of nowhere in a rundown double-wide. In actuali...
You Should Never Argue Politics with an Old Lady Carrying a Watermelon 16 Jul 2012 | 06:14 pm
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor If you’ve spent any amount of time on The Mainland, you know that I don’t make any attempt to hide my liberal political beliefs. So it should come as no...
When the Burglar Alarm Goes Off, What Will You Be Wearing? 9 Jul 2012 | 05:55 pm
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor It's every suburban homeowner's fear. No, not the construction of a new Waffle House. I'm talking about waking up in the middle of the night to the shril...
I’m Going Away for a While…Maybe a Long While 18 Jun 2012 | 03:50 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor I started this blog back in October as a way to escape the monotony of my regular life. I felt like I had all of this creativity bottled up inside that wa...
What I’m Giving My Wife For Our 10th Anniversary 15 Jun 2012 | 11:10 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor Believe it or not, today is my 10th anniversary. To put just how long I've been married in perspective, you could stack 50.7 failed Kim Kardashian marria...
“World’s Greatest Dad” Election Expected to Be Extremely Close 12 Jun 2012 | 10:19 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor Father’s Day is this Sunday and with it finally comes the revelation of the 2012 World’s Greatest Dad. Despite easily winning the title in each of the l...
An Entire Post Sans “H”, Because I No Longer Own One 10 Jun 2012 | 03:47 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor As I sat down to sneak in a blog post during my recent vacation (well before my "dick tick" encounter), I came across a very serious problem. My laptop wa...
Get Out Of My Pants! How I Got Violated On Vacation 8 Jun 2012 | 09:35 am
The Mainland - Sophisticatedly Stupid Humor There are many good reasons why someone might be anxious to get out of bed early while on vacation. Perhaps you've booked an awesome early morning skydivi...
