Themusicalfruit - themusicalfruit.net - The Bean
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Perky Mom 24 Aug 2013 | 01:23 am
Perky Mom’s so friendly Perky Mom’s so cool Perky Mom’s at soccer practice Perky Mom’s at school Perky Mom is cute Perky Mom is thin Perky Mom has not a single Wrinkle on her skin Perky Mom gi...
Little Dicks 17 Jul 2013 | 12:29 am
I know that you’re just kids I know you’re only six But if you make my kid cry I will punch you in your dicks.
Just Another Night at Home 1 Jul 2013 | 06:06 pm
A few things: You can’t pretend to be smarter than me and say things like “Accident happens” at the same time. I start to get silly with the pool noodle at right about the same time that I realize I...
Learn to Merge 26 May 2013 | 02:25 am
You want to merge? Why yes, of course. Here, let me just ease back. Why don’t you merge? Can you not see There’s room now on the track? Okay, I guess You’ve changed your mind And want to come in from ...
Not Sleeping 24 May 2013 | 05:26 am
There’s a cramp in my left leg And a sharp pain in my neck When I get up in the morning I’ll still feel both, I suspect There’s a leg wrapped ‘round my belly Slightly shorter than my own An elbow jabs...
I’m Not a Good Mom 27 Apr 2013 | 06:59 pm
I’m not a good mom. My son’s class has two Room Moms. They are young and cute and thin. They are BFFs, and they love to make crafts they find on Pinterest. They chaperone every field trip and organize...
The Bear and the Bunny 1 Mar 2013 | 01:12 am
This will come as a shock to no one, but sometimes I can be a little fucked in the head. Nothing too nut-tastic – I’m not sitting naked on my couch in a tin foil hat, clearing time on my calendar for ...
The More People Try to Make Me Watch Downton Abbey the Less I Want to Watch Downton Abbey 9 Feb 2013 | 01:30 am
Okay, so I’m trying to understand why every person in the world* loves Downton Abbey so much but so far I’m drawing a blank. I suppose I’d get some insight if I actually WATCHED Downton Abbey, but wha...
On Beej’s Total Inability to Accept Rejection 23 Jan 2013 | 09:02 pm
A few months ago I applied for a job and got a call back. It was an okay job. Not perfect, not great – but 2012 had really punched me in the nads and I desperately needed the work, so in true Beej fas...
Recently Rejected Blog Post Topics 13 Dec 2012 | 06:20 am
The endless cycle of Beej’s hair: grow out, get bored, cut, cry, grow out, get bored, cut, cry, and so on A “party” where you are expected to buy shit is NOT a party. It is a SALE. Hiding Out and Soul...
