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Seattle unemployment rate stuck at 4%: All the hotties have been hired 14 Aug 2013 | 08:20 am
Seattle, WA–The local job market has never been uglier. While Seattle possesses one of the lowest jobless rates in the nation, all the physically attractive job seekers have either been hired or have ...
Ed Murray Auctions Off His Last Body Part Not Already Sold to Corporations 2 Aug 2013 | 11:09 pm
Murray says citizens are best served when Corporations buy elected officials before they take office Seattle, WA, Downtown–At his campaign headquarters, decorated with Italian marble, mayoral candida...
Whole Foods pays employees a living wage: “They just can’t shop here.” 30 Jul 2013 | 04:00 am
Aging, grunge-era rockers and Amanda Knox will have to wait a little longer to buy grass-fed, Kobe beef and artisanal hand soaps in West Seattle. Seattle, WA–It’s gettin’ real in the proposed Whole F...
Tunnel-boring machine could destablize super villain secret lair 26 Jul 2013 | 12:01 am
Seattle, WA–As the Highway 99 tunnel machine begins boring its way through the rock, sludge and poopy underside of downtown Seattle, Seattle super villains say that the planned tunnel could destroy th...
Rare breed of flightless gull discovered at Ivar’s Fish Bar 19 Jul 2013 | 08:00 am
Seattle, WA–A rare breed of flightless seagull, Laridae Obesus, weighing up to 40 lbs, was recently discovered downtown Seattle languishing on the waterfront. “They seem to only be inhabiting certain...
Displaced by development, historic coffeehouse will struggle to recreate “the old shitty vibe” 17 Jul 2013 | 11:06 am
Seattle, WA — The distressing news that Bauhaus Books and Coffee will be demolished this September, has many of its regular patrons feeling steamed and left with no choice but to triple their Xanax do...
Westboro Church Bewildered By Powell Protest Backlash 11 Feb 2012 | 08:37 am
Homo-cidal maniac Josh Powell was merely a cog in the God Hates Fags machine… Tacoma – Westboro Baptist Church members are reportedly upset about the negative publicity around their planned picket of...
Lost Oregon Mushroom Hunters Found Huddled in Tree, Trippin’ Balls 8 Feb 2012 | 05:40 am
Family falls under the spell of magic mushrooms A family of mushroom enthusiasts had to be rescued this weekend after an almost week long bad trip in an Oregon forest. Betsy and Dickey Boone, along w...
HEALTH WARNING: Puppy Bowl viewing parties create toxic estrogen levels 6 Feb 2012 | 11:49 am
Female hormone levels while watching match could permanently injure the weak, old, and/or male (Minnesota) The Mayo Clinic alerted news outlets today that viewers of Puppy Bowl VIII, Animal Planet’s ...
SALMONCAST: Episode 25 4 Feb 2012 | 07:00 am
Listen! The Seattle Salmon is featured every Thursday & Friday on KNDD The end 107.7 fm Stories: Colton Harris-Moore Apology Marijuana Schedule II Superbowl XVLI Voices: Zack Lewis Mason Lowe ...
